Tuesday, February 13, 2018

Shifting to Tiny Letter

You know, I have been thinking about making a shift with this blog. It's been really nice to have a place to be able to write about my weight and fitness stuff, and I have made some neat friends along the way! But I have been writing a lot in other places and I kind of don't want to have a place where I am entirely focused on this anymore, so much.

So, do I make a change and just blog about whatever I want? I could do that. But also want to be a little less exposed, kind of (lots of kind ofs in this post, yes), if I am going to write about more. I tend to be a very personal writer; in fact, I got my start publishing a little personal zine back in the 90s that people seemed to enjoy. Part of me wants to go back to that, even, little self-published projects and maybe I will do that, too.

But I love the idea of the Tiny Letter. I subscribe to several and always really enjoy getting them in my email box and reading them. I set up an account that I have yet to use, but I think I will try it out for a little while.

Would you like to sign up for my Tiny Letter? You can do so here. I expect I will be writing something for it within the week, and I would aim to write them semi-weekly, kind of (again!) like I do here.

It still remains to be seen whether I will continue writing here. I am going to mull around about it for a little while yet. I do know, though, that I won't just delete it, just like I didn't delete what was ultimately the previous incarnation of this blog, The Forty Project (yes, I have been at this a long time!).

Things have been up and down in the past week or so and I am grappling around. Things are basically fine, but I am finding myself asking a lot of questions about various aspects of my life. This is just one of them.

I hope that you'll give my Tiny Letter a try! See you on the email!

Wednesday, February 7, 2018

Nips and Tucks and Hems and Stuff

I titled this post because that is what I feel like I've been doing lately with my eating – nipping, tucking, hemming, etc. – fixing up approaches to eating that fit into my lifestyle and make it easier to meet my health goals.

If you've been reading recently, you know that I have been following a loose low-carb, high protein diet for a study I am participating in with 23andMe. They don't give very specific parameters, so I have been eating much less white stuff and more veggies and fruit, whole grains, and lean meats and fish. I've been monitoring my carb intake most days and it usually falls under 100 grams per day.

That said, I haven't been super strict the past week and change, either – mainly because our budget is a bit... limited... at the moment, so we're trying to eat what we have. BUT, a few days ago my partner told me that he was certain that he has heart disease. It's a long story, but suffice it to say that he can't/won't go to the doctor and probably has some issues that need attention. Anyway, we decided together that trying a heart-healthy diet will be a good idea whether or not he does, so we've been doing our best to stick to that for him, and a bit for me, too – after a bit of research, I settled on an overall way of eating often referred to as the Mediterranean Diet. It's similar in how I was trying to eat, i.e. lots of veggies and fruits, lean meats, healthy fats, no white "stuff"... but not as liberal with things like butter and cheese, for instance. It does allow you to include whole grains, which the low-carb thing I've been doing doesn't. I also like that the MD opens things up to ALL veggies and fruits. Once our finances are back to normal, I'll likely do a hybrid of the two, leaning more toward the MD overall.

I'm happy to say that I finally broke the stall I was in, and I was down to 315.2 this morning. Hooray! I was so happy to see that and hope that I can continue such good progress at least for another week or so, or until I hit below 310. Ooh, that would be so nice!

And I tell you what, here now at 315, I am feeling my body returning to a state where bending at the waist isn't so fraught anymore. It's amazing what a difference a few pounds can make when you're at the right place. So what seems like instantly, I can tie my shoes more easily again, and the bathroom is not so bad anymore. It is such a relief.

Another thing is that because of my partner's heart disease anxiety, I did some research about it, and now I am concerned about it for myself, too! It's a tricky thing, and it is deadly. BUT it is also very treatable and even reversible using diet and fitness. One book I read, Best Practices for a Healthy Heart by Sarah Samaan, MD, talked about things like diabetes, metabolic syndrome, and PCOS (the latter with which I was diagnosed at 18) and how they relate to heart disease, and that was kind of all she wrote. It made me even more ready and willing to make positive and permanent changes to my lifestyle. The weight is a thing, sure – in fact, it is one of THE things when it comes to heart disease – but I am getting older and need to start thinking about these things seriously and decide how much I would like to affect my chances of living a long and healthy life. A better diet and a commitment to exercise has yet another purpose for me.

Yet one more phase in my journey that has been going on now for a long, long time. It is super important to just never give up. So much about this is diligence.

Friday, February 2, 2018

Annual Doctor Visit and a Refresh

I just updated my data page to reflect my January loss. What a good feeling!

Looking at the whole page with its now years worth of monthly tracking, I decided that it would be just lovely if I could make it through 2018 with losses every single month, even if it was just by a pound or two. I would really like to see a year that has no red in it. 2018 could be that year.

The thing to do is: Take things one step at a time, as I should always try to do. One month at a time, one week at a time, one day at a time, one hour at a time!

I'm writing this in the morning and I unfortunately I am not well-prepared for eating today. That is, I brought nothing with me (I woke up late!) and I don't really have an idea of what to do about it. Well, first thing: I'd like to re-commit to the low-carb approach after having read dear reader (and blogger extraordinaire!) Wendy's response to my last post. I have to throw a big shout out to her for that. Thank you, Wendy, for jolting me back to reality! So there is that. I'll drink water all morning and then, for lunch I'll likely go what seems like one of the best take-out options I have: a salad with proteins. Maybe Panera's Green Goddess, for instance? I'll think on it some more.

I just really do want to stick with this. I want to enjoy not feeling hungry and not feeling crappy like when I am eating lots of carbs. Am I still going to make those cookies I mentioned last post, though? Honestly? Probably, but maybe not for a while. The hazelnut flour and four types of chocolate I bought to make them will keep. I keep telling myself how much I want to get below 300 pounds again, but you know – if I keep making exceptions every time I have second thoughts or doubts, then I will certainly never get there.

Another problem I've been having is trying to sort out the depression and anxiety and stress I've been dealing with for the better part of the past year, which definitely doesn't help. The regular meditation practice I have established does, though, and so does a simple thing like taking regular walks (which I haven't been doing, by the way). I had my annual physical with my GP yesterday and it went well; we talked a lot about this stuff in particular and he's done a couple additional things: He's referred me to a psychiatrist now as opposed to only a talk therapist so I can get my medication sorted out, and he mentioned that maybe for now, I ought to focus on getting that house in order and let the weight stuff follow in kind rather than worrying too much about it right now. I appreciated that, but I also think that if I let it completely go, it will cause way more harm than good, and I think armed with low-carb eating, I will be fine and it will go back to being fairly easy.

Before my appointment yesterday morning, I finally got myself over to the imaging place right near the doctor's office to get the X-ray on my shoulder done to check for anything that looks more serious than tendonitis. I don't know the results yet on that, but should any day and I'm looking forward to getting that sorted out before the beginning of tennis season. The idea of not being able to play anymore is, quite frankly, devastating. So.

By the way, I want to shout out to my doctor about how incredibly awesome he is – for SO many reasons, but this takes the cake. His office badge, the ID he wears on his lab coat? It had his photo on it, but the name read: Mick Jagger.

OMG. I am so lucky.