The Missing Pieces

I'm trying to fill in the blanks. These pieces are crucial to getting myself healthy and fit.

Missing Piece 1. Doctor, doctor!

I had an appointment with my new GP doc! I had not been seeing my previous doctor or following up as much as I should have mainly because his office was so far away, in my home town. Though I've lived in Niagara Falls for almost seven years, I never made too much of an effort to find someone new because I really liked the doctor I had. Driving an hour and change to go see him, though, was definitely a barrier. Once I made the decision to start really taking care of myself,  I finally did something about it.

My new doctor's office is about 10-15 minutes away from my house and I got really lucky – he is fantastic. Very kind and gentle, asks lots of questions, listens carefully and doesn't rush the appointment. Bonus is that he is not judgmental about my weight (not that any doc should be, but as you may know, that is not always the case!) and wants to help me with my goals on a very gradual basis. He recommended that I see a nutritionist, which sounds great, and he doesn't think considering weight loss surgery should be on the table at this point, either, which was a relief to me. In general, he said that I seem to be in pretty good shape otherwise, though we'll see what my bloodwork reveals when we meet again later in June. My intention is to follow his suggestions and take any prescriptions he gives me – something I didn't do the last time I was given instructions by a doctor. Oops. Surprisingly, he was not too concerned about my blood pressure for now, which clocked in at 146/90, not so great. He wants to see how it might be affected by my recent lifestyle changes before medicating it.

On the plus side, it seems that my home scale is on par with the office scale, and my resting heart rate is about 60 (I also checked this out the other morning before I woke up, and got about 56. Not too shabby!

In short, I really like my new doctor and I'm actually looking forward to going back to see him. He is someone who will help me to take the best care of myself, not just to lose weight.

Missing Piece 2. Taskmaster.

I had a couple killer workouts with my trainer, Rick. Thursday's was particularly fun but very intense. It was the first time I had used a medicine ball, and the exercise was simple but effective. Rick rolled the ball to me from a distance. I bent at the knees to pick it up, and quickly made a long step forward (like a lunge) and threw the ball back to him. I know it doesn't sound like much, but after doing that a number of times, whew! I felt it everywhere. Two days later, I still feel it everywhere, in fact. Oof.

Missing Piece 3. Mind over Matter.

I've been trying not to put too much stock in the scale, though I am monitoring my weight a few days a week. The numbers are heading down, though not super quickly, which is fine. I'm doing what I am doing in what I hope is a sustainable lifestyle, once and for all. If nothing else, I know that I am making much better choices in what I am eating, and eating much less junk than I had been. That feels good. Using the Pact app has been helping me to stay on track with getting more fruits and veggies in each week, committing to the gym, and tracking my food each day. What I am trying to do is train myself, establish new and better habits. Maybe it's sad that I need something like that to help me do that, but whatever. I think it is working, and it's a bonus that I will actually earn about $2 a week doing it! I'm one of those people who is spurred on by competition and by money. The latter is one of the reasons I signed up for training sessions at my gym – that costs some serious change each month, but I tell you what, it gets me there, and the workouts I get with my trainers are way better than anything I would have devised on my own to start. Totally worth it.

I tried on the two swimsuits I have (each bought several years ago but never worn), and neither fit. I need to remedy this soon, as I really want to start going swimming at the gym, not to mention enjoy the jacuzzi after a tough workout! Yes, I am determined to do this despite my fear of exposing my body to the public like that. (Funny to hear from someone who used to be a nude model for art classes!) Understand that I don't like to wear short sleeves or anything exposing my legs anymore, even in summer. This will be a big step for me, but I am going to do it.

I've had a few ups and downs the past week. I feel like I am trying really hard at this stuff. I AM trying really hard! But, it is really hard not to look down that very long road I have ahead of me. I have so far to go, yet if I don't keep taking those small steps, I'm never going to get anywhere. I noticed that I feel something that feels a little like confidence this week, knowing what I was able to do at the gym, knowing that my eating habits are improving, yet I keep having the nagging feeling that I am not getting anywhere.

Well, silly, it's only been a few weeks! Rome wasn't built in a day. This takes time, especially if I want it to stick. I think this is going to the hardest thought for me to get past, and I need to get past it if I do want to reach my goals. It was always the missing piece all those times I lost a big chunk of weight. Let's see if I can find that missing piece this time.