Prattling On

Me at the art fair! You can't tell, but I am actually wearing a dress here. Photo by Alice O'Malley

My goodness, it's been a time!

Since I last wrote, I hit a 10% body weight loss, and shortly after the 40 pound mark. It was wonderful.

I've been planking almost every day AND I FREAKING LOVE IT.

Last weekend, I had a booth at an art fair. I (wo)manned it by myself except for about an hour on Saturday when a friend dropped by and watched it for me while I had a quick lunch (and then lost the lunch). It was two eight-hour days of almost constant socializing, plus three hours at the VIP viewing for one evening. Plus booth set-up (for which I had awesome help), and take down (for which I did not).

But wait! There's more!

On top of all that, it was (and still is, ugh) that time of the month, AND I woke up Friday morning (the first of three fair days) with some sort of stomach ailment that left me completely empty and mostly unable to eat during the weekend. Oh my god, it was a Herculean effort to get through it, but I did.

Well, I ended up getting down to 330 pounds — I basically lost almost ten pounds over the course of a week. It was crazy. I won't lie, either. It felt pretty good even though I was feeling crappy.

Fast forward to today. Something's going on with my poor legs, especially my right one, that still is not resolved. It really hurts, though I have taken a couple walks and I'm still able to do planks OK. The main problem seems to be when I stand up from sitting for a while, like at work. I am also still really, really tired. I also started eating normally again, and as predicted the pounds bounced back on. I'm not upset about it; I expected it.

I mentioned that I'm on my period at the moment and it's making me a little sweets-crazy. I didn't eat the best yesterday (in fact I ate way over my usual daily intake), and so far I haven't been super great today. But, I am tracking my food, as always — I think this is important — and while I am not feeling optimum emotionally or physically, I'm nowhere near giving up or anything. That's not what this is about. We have hard days, we have hard weeks, sometimes more. But we have to cling to what is important and what the big picture is about. That is what I am trying to focus on. What are the positives? How far have I come already?

I do post little bits here and there about what I have been doing and how I have been doing on my Facebook page... and people seem to enjoy it for the most part. I can't tell you how many people came up to me at the art fair to say how great I look or well I am doing and how I've been inspiring them. I love that. I've also been kind of listening to what I say to people and how I am talking about what I am doing. The last thing I want to do is prosthelytize, but I feel like I have to stop myself midway talking to avoid it. Like about the part where, dude, I am NOT dieting! This is my life. Blah blah blah.

And realizing how much I freaking HATE diets and the diet industry and anything associated with it? How much I hate low-fat this and no-carb that and "I was bad" this and cheating that. I'm not interested in demonizing food or making it a savior. I'm interested in eating food that is real and food that doesn't have a lot of unnatural crap added to it. Do I always eat this kind of food? No. But I try.

I am not perfect and I will never be perfect.

This is not a race.

One day at a time. One hour at a time. One minute at a time.

Be kind to yourself. Always. Honor your body.

Blah blah blah.

(This has turned out to be a much-needed pep talk for myself. I just feel crappy this week, but this, too, shall pass.)