How to Get Your Mojo Back

Since I have been bad about posting photos lately here is me being happy.

I am very happy to announce that it happened. I got my mojo back, finally! I'm pretty sure, at least.

Unfortunately, I can't really explain how it happened. It's a total mind thing, though, and my mind was just NOT having it the past few months. Maybe all this self-talk finally did some good and my switch got switched back on. I just wish I knew how to fully control it!

The past ten days since I last wrote have been good. An adjustment period. Last weekend I felt like I was testing the waters a bit and trying to see how I could rein things in even just a little. Saturday was the day when I made a really conscious effort to watch the overall volume of what I ate. I ended up eating one large meal (homemade pizza) and drank a bottle of wine. I know it sounds like a lot, but for me at this point, it was a good step forward. Another thing that happened on Saturday was that I thoroughly cleaned the refrigerator, which needed it. Really needed it. I threw out all kinds of things that had gone bad and/or expired, and that amounted to... well, let me just say a LOT. I washed the shelves and got everything in order.

It was wonderful. You can't imagine how wonderful. It also took a bit of time and physical effort, so I considered that my "activity" for the day. I was very pleased with myself and loved the resulting state of the fridge. A thing of beauty.

On Sunday, I slept in. A LOT. As in, I woke up at 1:15pm.

It felt marvelous.

I got up, got myself tidied up, and went to the store to buy things to make a homemade beef curry and naan for dinner/supper/lunch. It was another one meal kind of day, a hearty bowl of curry (which was fantastic, by the way) and basmati rice, and a couple small pieces of naan (which were OK, but still didn't really taste like real naan to me).

We watched movies, and I took a nice, hot, long bath in between The Missing and All the President's Men. Both films are recommended, by the way. If you didn't know, the former is based on a true story about an American couple living in Chile during the coup in the early-mid 70s. Sissy Spacek is in it and it's riveting. Of course, the latter is all about the journalistic investigation of Watergate by the Woodward and Bernstein, two Washington Post reporters. They make a nice double feature, actually!

I think it was during my bath that I started thinking more definitively about how I wanted to proceed during the week as far as eating and exercise went. (Baths are great for that!) I also wanted to try to save some from money by not getting take-out lunches every day like I have been lately. It would be nice to not worry about what I was going to eat and then gorge myself on a huge meal like I often do. I realized lately that the big crash I have at around 3pm is probably exacerbated by those excessive lunches.

So that was a big thing. I knew it would solve a lot of my problem, to be honest. Another thing I had been doing was getting "treats" to keep at my desk at work. It used to be gummi bears, but I got totally addicted to them and made a conscious effort to avoid them because it got so crazy. It became the first thing I started tracking as a new habit on the HabitBull app: No gummi bears! So far it's been 55 days and my initial goal was 66, which would put me at Christmas. I might treat myself to some chocolate-covered ones because I haven't had them in forever and they are crazy delicious. Anyway, so the gummi bears have been banned at least a while longer, as well as... oh, I don't know... Hostess or Little Debbie cakes? Chocolate bars? Etc etc. So no more of that stuff in my desk drawers. That is honestly half my battle, and if it is not there, it's not even an effort.

I also resolved to go on at least a 10 minute walk at least four times a week. I know it's not much, but I wanted to pick something that would be impossible NOT to do so that I could least develop the habit again. And the two times I have gone on a walk this week have both been 20 minute walks! I'm actually aiming for a mile generally, but hey! If I just want to do 10 minutes, then that is good, too.

So far, the result is that I have indeed lost a few pounds. I topped out at 328 on Friday, I think it was, and yesterday I was down to 323. Today was 324, which is fine. I had a great eating day yesterday so I am sure it is some sort of water retention thing or whatever. I also have the period from hell right now, so it will be interesting to see how I do once that is over. Peri menopause is great when you don't get your period for like six months, but then when you do get it, it lasts for almost two weeks and you bleed like a stuck pig – at least that has been my experience. It sucks, man.

Ahem. So, yeah. I'm pretty happy about what's going on. It's a great feeling to be able to share with you some positive stuff rather than the whining that has ensued the past few entries. It's a huge relief, to be honest.

Finally, in other news, our beloved cat Nico passed away on November 4th. It was absolutely heart-wrenching and her death left a huge void in our hearts and in our home. It was literally the first time in my life that I didn't have a cat to pet and snuggle. We did still have one cat, Henrietta, but she is nearly feral and we can't get within five feet of her. It's like having a little ghost around.

As a result, I was combing shelter listings for cats. I just couldn't handle a nearly catless home. Long story short, by the end of November we had adopted two cats – one the week after Nico's passing and one about two weeks after that. They are very intentionally both long-haired grey cats, like Nico was. They are the best cats! In fact, the other night when I was having some drinks I told my partner that I only ever wanted to get long-haired grey cats from now on. Not that we'll be getting any more anytime soon, just that that is what I would want going forward. They are stupendously sweet and beautiful and smart cats.

I'll leave you with cat photos.

Nico! RIP, sweet kitty.

Sami! He is a boy kitty and a total teenaged moose.

Me and Mia, the day I adopted her. She is also a teenager but more like a squirrel to Sami's moose.