Saturday, February 7, 2015

A Hard Time

Well, it's been a week. I wish I could tell you that the success I had previously and talked about in my last post was sustained, but it wasn't. In fact, I'm back up to 302 today. Pfft. The reason why?

• PMS all week, I could just feel it coursing through me. My eating and activity was fine, about usual, but the weight just hung on, albeit the kind that I instinctively know will come off as a course of nature. I've also been pissy and annoyed by, like, everything. Fun times.

• Yesterday the PMS got the best of me, and I just took a day off from everything. I basically ate whatever and however much. I still logged most things, with a "quick add" of 1500 cals for dinner at a friend's house. I got a pizza on the way home from our favorite pizza place in anticipation of another pile of snow coming this weekend, and had two pieces for "dessert". It was delicious and I don't regret it, despite the two extra pounds that showed up on the scale today.

So today, what did I do? No, I did not cry in my Wheaties. (I had two eggs over easy and an English muffin, anyway.) I had a quick reconnaissance with my little brain as a reset of sorts, and hauled myself to the gym for an hour-long yoga class and short but intense burst on the treadmill before hand.

Note to self: Don't do a sweat-inducing, short but intense burst on the treadmill before going to yoga class. Also, for the love of all that is holy, do not forget (or lose) your hair tie! Good gravy, try doing yoga with really long, sweaty hair and no hair tie. That was fun and really distracting, but I finally figured out that I could quickly put it in two loose braids in between vinyasas, which helped a bit.

Oh my gosh, the sweat that I sweat during yoga. Have I told you that I am so in love with yoga?

Tomorrow's plans include, weather cooperating: More yoga and a post-yoga run on the treadmill. I'll be doing either C25K W5D1, or try running a whole mile, or both. Today I was able to run a full half mile and then ran out of time when yoga was about to start. I know that I will be able to handle the Couch to 5K thing, no problem. Day 1 of week 5 involves three 5-minute jogging intervals interspersed with two 3-minute walks, and now a 5-minute jog is not much of a problem for me, hoorah! I figure at best I'd be able to sustain a 4mph pace (15 minute mile) for the running, so the question would be, can I squeak out a 15-minute segment of running yet? I think I can, but it will be hard. I still want to try.

(I use the terms running and jogging interchangeably, by the way. What may look like jogging to you when I'm doing it is totally running to me, so whatever.)

I'm also gearing up for my 5K training to begin next Sunday! Eeeeee!

Anyway. My eating was OK today, better than yesterday for sure, but I'd imagine that many of you would be aghast at what I stuff in my craw sometimes. I fit in foods I really love and don't feel the need to give up along with "good" stuff (isn't it great how we make moral judgements about food? Good vs. bad, etc.?) and so many days I have an eclectic mix that includes celery sticks, any variety of raw fruit, herbal tea, gorgeous salads, black beans, Cheetos, pizza, boneless skinless chicken breasts, and ice cream. I mean, not every day, but you know, pretty frequently.

If I ate "better", I'd probably lose more weight faster. It's true. I think about this a lot, but I kind of smirk about it because the way that I am eating allows me to lose weight, live fairly healthfully, and still enjoy eating. Because I tell you what, I love food. I enjoy eating – both at home with my partner, maybe alone, as well as out with friends and family or by invitation to their homes. Last night, for example, I had the best dinner at my friends' Megan and Nathan. Megan made a delicious casserole Mexican-style based on a Cooking Light recipe, along with this amazing jalapeno cornbread from a mix (!) and you better believe I had two helpings of everything. I drank wine. I had high-quality chocolate straight from their freezer, which is a lovely way to have it, breaking off pieces at the table as the conversation gets more boozy and intimate.

Anyway, this is the way I want to live. So this is the way I am living. I want that oft-precarious balance between healthy and happy. Healthy does not always equal happy. Or maybe it does? Yeah, it kinda does.

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