Christmas day is almost over, and I am glad for it. *cue Grinch music*
Christmas has long been a tough holiday for me, and it turns out it is for my partner as well. It's a crap shoot how any given year will go, so I tend to just kind of... ignore that it approaches, more or less? We're both atheists and so the holiday has no special religious meaning, just purely cultural if nothing else. We have our traditions, like always watching the Rankin/Bass animated specials and movies like Die Hard that are Christmas movies that you always forget are Christmas movies. And of course we always plan on a delicious meal including ham. But that's about it. Some years I put up my white artificial tree, some years (like this one) not.
This year I felt especially disengaged from the whole thing, and overall there has been definitely been a depressive veil hanging over us for a while. (Yes, despite all the good stuff I've been talking about depression has been hanging around in various strengths throughout the year.) Come the big day I realized that it might have been nice to have some hints of festivity, including some gifts, which I just did not do – it never really seems to matter but I think they really do, even just some little things, something shiny to speculate on and rip open excitedly... I'll be better prepared next year.
Despite all that we had a pretty OK day eating leftovers from the delicious meal I put together yesterday, taking a long afternoon nap together, watching things like A Christmas Story and JFK assassination stuff and senior tennis matches. I also managed to throw together a batch of Christmas cookies – the zebra shortbread cookies from Bon Appetit – and they were pretty and delicious. (There's a photo up on my Instagram if you're interested in seeing them a la Amy G.)
I'm back to work tomorrow and feel relieved that the holiday season is now behind us. Yes, there's new year's eve, but that's not quite as loaded for me and kind of another non-event. I'm looking forward to a fresh start and just living life like normal again without all the pressures that end of the year holidays seem to bring – and that's even the way we do things, which is not to subscribe to hardly any of it!
The holidays just get too crazy for some people and it ruins any fun....
ReplyDeleteHonestly, we've just removed ourselves from the crazy (as an only child it's pretty easy to do that!), but my partner and I both find ourselves emotionally affected just by the time of year for whatever reasons. It can be a heavy load even if you're not doing much. I hope you had a lovely holiday!
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