Positivity Rules!

I've having a good week, how about you?

One thing that crossed my mind – actually, one of many things – was the importance of being in the right frame of mind to reach goals. Then I reconsidered: Yes, that is important, but what about when your mind is not cooperating? When all you can think about is all the food you want to eat or how much you don't feel like busting your ass exercising?

I thought, well, you have to fake it until you make it. At the very least, I've had steady and consistent gym workouts twice a week with my trainer. If I did nothing else, it would still be a positive. I have been doing my best to stay within certain caloric limits and make better food choices in general. Have I been perfect? No, but I have been doing enough to make me feel like I am making a difference. I'm trying to view each day when I wake up as a new chance to do good by myself. I learn from my missteps. (Or maybe sometimes I don't, but I am aware of them.)

The other day my trainer (I'll just refer to him by name, Rick, from here on out) asked me, "If you could have any day off from exercise each week, which one would it be?" I thought this was a slightly odd question, but I thought for a moment and replied, "Friday!" He then told me that he felt strongly that in order for me to reach my goals in a reasonable amount of time, he'd like to see me dedicate to six days of some form of exercise each week. He knew that I was doing two days at the gym with him, obviously, and also that I was aiming for at least two days a week running – so to ask me to add on two more days was not such a stretch. And the more I thought about it, the more I knew that it would be a good idea, too. The idea also totally dovetailed with the Jeff Galloway 5 and 10K running plans that I am loosely following now. So, organization freak I am, I went to my Google calendar and hashed out a weekly plan for myself.

Monday
Cross-training: Gym workout with Rick, focus on strength training

Tuesday
Cross-training: Morning yoga/stretch session at home and/or Lunchtime walk (~2 miles)

Wednesday
Run: Group run at Fleet Feet or with the Niagara Parks Runners (alternating)

Thursday
REST

Friday
Run: Morning run on my own around the neighborhood

Saturday
Cross-training: Gym workout with Rick, focus on strength training

Sunday
Run: Group run with the Niagara Parks Runners or the Officially Unofficial Sunday Runners (alternating, depending on several factors – NPR is much closer to home!)

In addition to this, I'm implementing the "get up off your butt every hour and walk for five minutes" thing I read about in the New York Times recently – read the article here. It's interesting! I'm now on my second day and do find that it has made me more productive and have more energy overall. Plus, it is an easy way to get more activity in every day – I can easily manage 20 to 30 minutes' worth that I wouldn't have had otherwise, so win-win!

Despite all these positive steps, I am still dealing with some inner negativity. I'm doing lots of great things for myself, but somehow I feel like I am not making any progress. Running is still hard for me and many times when I'm out doing it I wonder why I torture myself so willingly? But the truth is, I want nothing more than to be able to run safely and soundly and not feel so awkward and slow. I need to keep doing the work so I can get there – both via losing more weight and by continue to train my body with a consistent running schedule. It can just get frustrating.

That's where having a HUGE and EXCELLENT support system comes in. And I do have that in place, in so many ways, and it urges me to keep going and reminds me that it is worth it.

I just want to get these out of head: Random negative thoughts.

• Wanting my Swatch watches to fit even just a little bit better – just a wee tight. Wearable, but not totally comfortable.

• Feeling sad that my one black skirt is tight enough that I can't zip up all the way now (well, it's been like that for a little while, but still) – it had fit perfectly and almost too big not long ago! (I still wear it with a shirt covering the zipper but would rather be able to zip the thing all the way!!!)

• Being worried about my feet and all the activity I am doing – sometimes they hurt. Makes me want to lose the extra weight that much more, so I guess that is a positive. I just really don't want to hurt myself.

• Being sick of how big my stomach is – not even so much for looks or anything else, except that it is cumbersome and gets in the way more than I would like.

This weekend I'll be running two 3.3 mile legs of a half marathon relay! The longest I've run lately is two miles, but I think this will be doable broken up into alternating sections with my friend Amy F., who is my relay teammate. The first mile always feels like shit, and then I hit the second one and things kick in and I feel strong. I know I have the miles in me, and the cutoff times for this race are generous. I am really looking forward to hanging out with all my running ladies!