I just posted the last post I started to write on Thursday – it ends kind of abruptly but rather summarizes what the past couple weeks has been like: Not-so-great eating and lots of tennis, in a nutshell.
Approaching a certain number again was also a concern. I was teetering on the brink of 290 again, and that just was not acceptable. I've made just some small adjustments the past few days and ended out the month hitting 286 and change, which is fine for me – far away enough for now. My goal for the month of July is to end up into the 270s (finally!), and to stay below 285 every day after today.
I'm making a pledge to myself for this month to weigh every day (even when I am scared), and log my food every day in some way (the past few days I have taken to just listing the food I eat in the notes section of MyFitnessPal instead of doing the whole calorie count thing).
Another thing I've been thinking about is time. As in, how long it takes to lose this weight. I've been at this now for three years and the net loss is currently 85 pounds – hey, not bad, right? The thing that I am most impressed with at this point is that I am still at it, and even though I have had some setbacks, I've never given up completely. I'm really proud of that! And while it would be really nice to lose a lot more quickly, I'm thinking that the slower I lose, the more likely I will keep it off long-term. So instead of being worried about losing a certain number of pounds each month (i.e. the 8 or 10 I always aimed for in the past), I just want to make sure that I lose something on a monthly basis – keep the downward trajectory, no matter how little it might be. Oh! And also to keep my Happy Scale charts in the green, all the time.
This allows me for not feeling overly restricted or wanting for anything. I can still eat what I want for the most part as long as I keep things balanced and in reasonable portions, most of the time. That is so important for the long haul, to make sure that what I have been doing remains a lifestyle rather than a temporary fix – which, at this point, seems pretty much the case.
Anyway, I am entering July with a fresh outlook and excitement. It feels good!