Thursday, July 20, 2017

MOAR: Accountability

I'm getting real.

Well, I'm always real here. If you've been reading for a while, you know that.

But seriously, this morning was a real eye-opener. Got on the scale as promised, and... I am sad to say that I am back over 290 – 293.8! Whoa!

I ate like crap yesterday and so it's partly the weight of all that, I'm sure. I'm going to share with you what I ate, in fact. Note that this is pretty much how I ate before I got serious about losing weight, but every day without thinking twice most times. No wonder things got so out of control.

• Three donuts

• Subway footlong roast beef sub (I get all the veggies and vinegar on it, and pepper jack cheese, yum!), and Baked BBQ Lay's chips

• One hotdog on a bun, about a cup of leftover fancy black beans with a little cheese and sour cream on top, and some chili cheese Fritos

• An ice cream cone (at like 10pm!)

Actually, I probably used to eat even worse than this, but still. It's a lot, right? The donuts. God.

There were some positive things yesterday though!

• Drank 10 cups of water

• Played over an hour of tennis in hot and humid conditions (probably the most we've experienced so far this year) – plus I won a game in two sets! LOL

• I meditated!

So today I put on some comfortable clothes so that I would physically feel OK and therefore better mentally, too. I had three donuts left in my drawer and I ate them. I know.

I'm going out to lunch with a co-worker and not sure what I will do there, to be honest.

I'm not beating myself up. All I need are a few good days under my belt again. And I need to keep writing here. Another thing I considered doing was keeping a written journal of what I eat, when, and how I am feeling at the time. Same with drinking (alcohol). I think it will help me to better understand my patterns and therefore maybe try to adjust them. I mean, I know in general what I do – I am an emotional eater, no doubt. But I also eat to feed non-hunger cravings. I eat because the idea of eating that particular food sounds good. I want to do it. It's hard for me to moderate many times, though, so there's the rub. They say that the first few bites of a food taste best, and after that, we're just gobbling to gobble. Why can't I just have half a donut and be satisfied, or one scoop of ice cream, or one slice of pizza? OK, fine if I am hungry but many times I am not.

I think I'll meditate on it.

One last thing I wanted to note here? I don't get chub rub anymore. I play tennis in short skirts and I haven't had chub run one time this year! I wear skirts to work – nothing. It is totally fabulous. I mentioned it to my GYN, marvelling at it, really, and she said it's probably because my legs have more muscle now. Whatever the reason, it's pretty nifty. I haven't had to use my Body Glide in forever! Hooray!


  1. Great to have something fun to do that supports your efforts! Better choices ahead, but half the battle is the knowing. It's good to get that reality check on the scale to bring your back to focus!!! Have a great week!!!

  2. You shared a moment I had also - I used to always avoid skirts, partially due to my body shape (round-ish) and partly because I always, but always, got the chafe. That situation is NO BUENO. And then, one day after losing a bunch of the weight, I tried skirts again and, what do you know --- it's all good! And not only that - skirts are cooler and more comfy on hot days! Bask in the change that YOU achieved, that YOU created. Enjoy.

  3. Hi Amy,
    This is the first time I am reading your blog. I don't know if you believe in food addiction. I do. I have had weight problems my entire life. When I hit 50 I just gave up and ate and ate until i was 265 and at 5'5" that was big. When I started getting really out of breath climbing stairs, I finally went to Weight Watchers and lost 50lbs. I am 73 now and never regained them. In 2005 I joined Tops here in Fl and went down to 155. It stayed off until about 6 months ago when I became depress over health issues. I have regained 17lbs and have now started to eat healthy again. If I stay away from sugar and starch I do great. Like a drug addict, if I give in to these foods, I start on a binge. We are all different, but I have been around long enough to know myself and this is what really works to keep me healthy. The cravings do stop after about two weeks and I don't want sugar or starch at all. I eat good carbs make lots of great recipes and don't feel deprived at all. I feel deprived when I cannot wear the nice clothes I have or feel good when I look in the mirror. It is the hardest thing I have ever done,but we do lots of hard things. So, why not take care of our health and looks by working just as hard.
    My best tip for dieters is it starts at the super market. NEVER BRING HOME ANYTHING THAT WILL SET YOU OFF. When I do allow a piece of cake or other treat it is only when I am out to a party or something like that. This way I get home and it is business as usual. Our happiness is so connected to our weight and how we feel about ourselves. Best of luck to you Amy.

    1. Hi Marje, thanks so much for reading! I was obviously on a bit of a hiatus and just today saw your comment. Yes, I do believe in food addiction and that taking the sugar and starch out of my life would be really helpful. I've done it a couple times in my life but it'd been hard to keep it up for whatever reason – maybe just not giving it enough time. Anyway, I've been having different thoughts about all this and will be writing again soon. Best of luck to you as well!

  4. That's funny. my weaknesses also include subway and donuts. every now and again you have to splurge or it will drive you crazy! you are helping me by doing everything you do everyday

    1. Hi Sarah, nice to be in your company! I am definitely not against splurging now and then – but lately every day had been a splurge = not good! I'm glad that I'm helping you by sharing my experience. That is what I hope for! Thanks for reading and commenting. :)

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