Well, here is a photo for you. It is of me and my dad along with my uncle and cousins. I'm on the far left.
This isn't a recent photo; it's actually from October 2008, and that was the last time that I weighed about what I weigh now. Actually, I am probably a few pounds lighter now than I was then, but not by much. The main point of showing you this is that today, I am wearing the same jeans that I wore in that photo, and they are comfortable! They fit perfectly! It's been a long time coming, let me tell you. I can't tell you how many times I've looked at that exact photograph and pined over those jeans. (They're just cheap ones from K-Mart, actually, but one of the best-fitting pairs I've owned!)
So here I am. It's funny, because I feel a lot differently now at this weight than I did then. It's less exciting in a way, this time around; maybe because it's still kind of old hat, making up for lost time. Maybe once I get below 300 it'll start to feel different. I don't feel as "skinny" even though my partner has told me that my body seems like it, as if my body changed composition since 2008 or something. Who knows?
That's not to say that I don't feel good, because I do. I feel fantastic. Just making observations, is all.
Eating today was still a bit of a challenge because we're still broke and I can't go out and replenish my stock of veggies and fruits. I still have some frozen items, which is good, but I will admit it: I am spoiled when it comes to fresh! Today I made up a dish using some defrosted chicken, frozen peas, and the two asparagus stalks that showed up in my garden. I made a Thai-inspired stir fry that also involved fresh minced garlic and a minced chile that came out of the freezer (we froze a ton of our home-grown chiles last year!), plus some red curry paste, a splash of milk, and some homemade red pepper flakes. It was pretty good, and it made enough for two meals, so I'll have it again for tomorrow. I've had my last two apples and peanut butter for each meal, and for dinner I just made myself a can of tomato soup since I ate all my protein for the day at lunch. Not the best choice, but not terrible, either. Oh, and one indiscretion: a few tiny pretzels with a couple tablespoons of cheese dip (i.e. one serving of each, I'd guess). I don't think it's going to mess things up too much, if at all, considering how much little else I've had to eat today.
I haven't even mentioned the best part! Scale read 301.8 this morning, so close to my first big goal.
Well, my first big goal is to get below 300 pounds. I have another one close on its heels, too. A 50 pound loss, which would put me at 298.8. Here's hoping that both happen before the end of the week — I start maintenance on Sunday!
A word about maintenance. I want to psych myself up for it, first of all. I absolutely have to maintain my weight across this next maintenance, particularly because I will be yet so close to the 300 mark. I won't ever want to see a 3 at the beginning of my weight again. One thing that will be interesting is that for most of that time, I will be away from home! I'm going to a book arts workshop retreat that's two weeks long! I think this could be a really good thing for my eating. For one, I will be very busy most of the time, and probably very active, too. I've indicated on the dietary form that I would prefer to eat mostly fruits and vegetables and lean meats while I am there.
On the other hand, it could be really difficult. I really won't know until I get there, and the one thing I can do is just envision myself making the best choices I can, getting lots of exercise, drink lots of water, all that. I think visualization is a really powerful tool, and from here on out each night before I go to bed, I will picture myself doing all kind of good things for myself while I am away.
Do you have any good suggestions for strategies I can use going into the unknown? From what I hear, the place I am going to serves excellent food.
Oh you are doing fantastically well. Go you!
ReplyDeleteStrategies...well salads are your friend (with low cal/no dressing). Have at least 1 salad a day and a sensible breakfast and you can afford to be a mite more naughty in the evening.
WOOT WOOT congrats on the scale number!! Soooooo close can you just hear it calling to you!! I say keep on keeping on cuz you are doing wonderfully! If you have a list a "I'm going to " list print it out and take it with you. It will help with the remembering why and where you are going. Maybe even a list of foods you want to stick to so when you are making choices you can look back at the list to remember not to get something off the list?
ReplyDeleteGood luck!!
*huggles*
Felicia =0)
I think you look so small in the photo. I'm so proud of you, & how you are doing!
ReplyDeleteSuggestions - I like your visualizing idea, good one. It helps me say, for example, prior to going down to dinner to think about what I might eat. (ex: "will I allow a pc of bread tonight?, NO dessert tonight", etc...) Pep talks. =)
Take a journal/tablet and continue to record anything you eat all day. Maybe make it a goal to record some form of exercise in it every day as well.
Remember how close you are to a first goal and how badly you want that. Think lifestyle too, not vaca.
OH! And think about what you may or may not have to report on your BLOG! Horrors!
Keep going, friend! The 2's await!
Chrissy