Random Thoughts

I feel like it's been a while since I wrote a substantive post, and I have lots of thoughts but maybe thoughts that don't necessarily segue into each other super well. Enter the bulleted list!

• I don't know how or what to eat today. I'm doing Intermittent Fasting (IF), and while I could technically start eating now (or even hours ago, to be honest), but I'm holding out until at least noon so that my window extends to 8pm... but that's not even great because my gym workout tonight goes until 8. Really, it would be best for me to hold off eating until 1pm so that the window ends at 9, but OMG I am really hungry now. Argh.

Possibilities for the what, for a big lunch: Panera Green Goddess salad and a sprouted grain roll, a Noosa yogurt, an apple, maybe something else since I'll have the calories for it. Another possibility is less healthy maybe, but would definitely tide me over and through my workout: a Subway footlong, either a meatball (not-so-good for me) or a roast beef (better for me), with baked chips and maybe a cookie if it fits (and it would, maybe even two). Argh. I'll run some numbers in MyFitnessPal and see what works best.

• I have officially given up running for a while – not permanently, mind you. I've really been enjoying my strength training workouts, especially heavy weight lifting, and I've even been enjoying my PT appointments. I'm really into the idea of getting myself in way better form and with way more of the right kinds of muscle strength for my future foray back to running. This means: Losing at least 20-30 more pounds and maybe even 50 (which is what my trainer has been suggesting), and continuing the workouts I've been doing. Obviously we're talking months before I'd want to step back to it, but I am oddly OK, even excited about it.

I just really got sick of feeling like a failure when I ran. I mean, I always did the best I could, but it always seemed to me that my best still wasn't good enough to keep up with friends and really enjoy the social aspect of it. I also like running solo, of course, but again – it always feels SO HARD and I was getting really frustrated at the lack of progress I was feeling since last summer.

I know that even when I lose more weight, running will still not be easy, but it will be easier in many ways. No doubt I will have the ability to run faster by virtue of the weight, and I will have fully prepared muscle groups. When I go back to running, I want to go back strong and excited for it! Right now, I am excited about taking an official break from it and focusing on other things.

• I got sucked in the world of LuLaRoe. I'm not sure how it happened, because I'd seen posts about it Facebook before, but always ignored them. I guess it was my online friend Emily who finally got me looking more into it and discovering the range of fun leggings they offer – I got one pair, and that was it. I now have, shall we say... several.

Lots of people really hate LLR, which I totally get – there are a number of reasons why you may not like the line, or the way the company operates. But for me, it has really sparked a renewed interest in getting dressed and having fun with it, not to mention feeling really comfortable. (Note: Do NOT wear LLR every day, because you will not realize when other clothes might be getting tighter, LOL!) I don't mind the claiming process or the way things are invoiced. I enjoy hunting for patterns or colors I like that are also in my size. (That's another thing that many people dislike.) I'm also branching out into other pieces of clothing they offer besides leggings. Today I am wearing a lovely A-line skirt (called "Azure" in LuLaLand) with the really-hard-to-find black leggings and I feel so good – it's just really comfy clothes in the fabrics I really like, those kind of slinky synthetics that drape your body? I have a J. Jill shirt like that and I've worn it to death, and despite that I still wear it because it is so freaking comfortable and makes me feel like I look good.

Of course nobody's perfect, so some of the things I don't like about LuLaRoe are that some of the pieces fit me just fine, and others don't. I'm 5'8" and right around 300 and have no problem wearing their "Tall and Curvy" leggings. I have the Azure skirt in a 2XL and feel like I might need and XL soon. But I also have two Julia dresses (a short sleeved, form-fitting, knee-length number) and first tried a 2X – fits me like a sausage casing. I got a 3X next, but it seems to fit about the same as a 2X. But, I am keeping both because I am losing weight and know I'll be able to wear them comfortably not too far down the line.

I want to try other dresses too, but have a feeling that aside from the free-flowing Carly, they'll all be about the same, fit-wise. That said, I'll have something to look forward to, right? Still, LuLa, come on! You can serve the plus size population a little better than that.

As a result, I am totally becoming a skirt and dress girl again, which I love. Here's a crappy photo showing my Azure skirt and elusive black leggings! (Oh, and of course – the Fluevog boots!)

Just showing off the pretty pattern and color! And my Fluevogs...

• I'm still hovering right around 300 – 299.4 yesterday, 300.4 today. I expect I will be firmly into the 290s this week – at least, that is the hope. That is what I am aiming for, like however many days in a row of a 29- number on the scale! I got this.