Fat People Can Play Tennis!

Yes, it's true. Fat people CAN play tennis!

It is such a relief that spring has finally arrived. Things were really feeling dire with all the cold weather and even snow we were getting up until just recently – it was kind of mind-boggling! (Not to mention scary and sad, our poor Mother Earth). BUT on Sunday we took our first foray back out to the tennis courts and it felt great!

OK, well, it felt great mentally. Plus, I could still hit the ball, wow! I was honestly a bit worried that I lost all the skills I'd built up last season. Happily, they are still with me.

As you might imagine with someone who hasn't done very much to be active since last summer, physically the first day was a little rough. Obviously I lost a LOT of cardio fitness and, because I gained about 40 pounds since we last played (boo!!!), I didn't have the ability to make it across the court as adeptly as I did before. Those things were definitely discouraging, BUT we hit the ball around for a good half hour on our inaugural outing, and then went out again yesterday for 45 minutes, and today? We reached a full hour again, which is what we always aimed to play last season – at least. Both of us are definitely tired and achey, but I'd say that we have a great start to summer 2018 and I can't wait to get back into better shape so that I can play my best game.

So, here I am on the court today in my tennis blacks (as opposed to whites, ha!), all 330 pounds of me. I'm not embarrassed; to the contrary I am pretty proud to get back out and do something like this in public no matter what I look like. I mean, seriously – just because someone doesn't look like a typical athlete doesn't mean that they can't also participate in sports, even something like tennis. I like that I can be out there and feel OK mentally about it.

Down at the courts at Kiwanis Park in Lewiston! I'm wearing a Universal Standard t-shirt,
by the way, and it is the most soft, comfortable thing ever to hit my skin. I've got a Head racquet and
the best Adidas tennis shoes ever, because there are owls on them and they're red and silver!

I mention this only because I don't think that I was always of this mindset and it is something that I wish for everyone who doesn't conform to certain physical expectations. Go out, try new things, put your body out there and see what it can do!

Here's the thing for me: I am still going to talk about losing weight because I still want/need to, and having this forum in which I can be forthcoming and honest really helps me. Yes, I feel conflicted about adding to the whole "diet talk" thing and honestly, I don't always think it is healthy; however I'd like to think that what I am doing and how I am talking about it is an exception. I really hope so. I guess if you've been reading along long enough you know what my reasons are, but if not, let me reiterate: I especially want to lose weight now because I want my tennis game to be optimum, and I also want to get back into walking and running, and whatever weight I lose will make all those things easier – not to mention just plain old daily life type stuff.

I've been right around 330 for at least a month or so now. It doesn't feel great. It feels like most of the weight I gained back went straight to my tummy and my arms, and it is uncomfortable. My stomach gets in the way and just feels awkward. There is no getting around it! Even dropping ten pounds will feel much better. I know because I did this not too long ago – back in February I was back down under 315 and the difference was incredible. You wouldn't think it, right? But it is.

I'm not having a super easy time getting back to better eating habits. It's very up and down, but I keep working at making each day a better day on that front. And if I don't make the best decisions? I try again. It sounds laborious, it IS laborious. You'd think that I could just decide and that would be it. If only. I've realized (again) that if I don't keep foods that I really shouldn't be eating so much of right now (ice cream, gummi bears, whatever other junk that might creep its way into the cupboards or fridge) in the house, I won't eat them. It makes things much easier. So there is that: It starts at the grocery store. I'd also like to stop drinking alcohol for a little while and just give my body a break from processing it.

Now that exercise is back into the equation, I think things will flow more easily. When I am on that tennis court, all I keep thinking is, "Ugh, fat! You really need to go. You're in my fucking way." Seriously. It's part mental and part physical. But it's all on me.

So let's do this!