Whole 30, Day 11

I'm still hanging in there! It's probably one of my toughest days today, which, according to the Whole30 Day by Day book, sounds pretty normal. But I can't give in. I can't throw in the towel – I'm a third of the way through, you know?

One thing that is not making it easier is that I got my period today. Again. (Second time in two months, which is a huge bummer as I make my way through perimenopause.) So yeah. The so-called Sugar Dragon is raging hard today, and I really had to talk myself out of eating not one, both the Larabars I had in my desk drawer. Larabars are technically compliant on W30, but recommended to use only in emergencies, if ever. So, after reading a number of posts on the online forum, I decided to pack the bars away until post-day 30. It's for the best.

I did have take-out lunch today from an old favorite, Panera – the Green Goddess salad, modified a bit. No dressing, olive oil instead. I probably made a mistake having them leave the bacon on (probably was cured with sugar and sulfites and whatever else that is NOT allowed), but I threw caution to the wind. No, I am NOT restarting, but I will tell you one thing: something did not taste quite right with that salad. Maybe I'm just used to my own delicious homemade versions so much now. I'll take it as lesson learned and to continue to work on improving my prep skills so I can avoid this kind of thing in my remaining days.

Randoms:

+ I'm getting sick of sweet potatoes. They are the bottom layer of my breakfast casserole this week and I find that I'm getting really put off by the flavor when I bite into it. Get this: Too sweet!

+ I LOVE yukon gold potatoes. I'm so happy regular potatoes are considered compliant on Whole30.

+ I have probably been eating too many pistachios. I could do that with macadamia, hazelnut, or cashew, but apparently pistachios should be enjoyed with stricter limits. Oops.

+ Another new fave: Capers. I had no idea how flavorful and yummy these were – a perfect addition to eggs, salad, veggies, etc. If I want to be honest I've been avoiding them for a long time without any cause.

+ I bought sardines and smoked rainbow trout but have not yet gathered up the courage to try them. I did used to eat sardines packed in tomato sauce back in college and loved them, but for some reason I am afraid of them now.

+ I need to make some homemade mayo. I'm not usually a big mayo person, but I want to make egg salad and tuna salad soon.

+ I'm still not sick of eggs, thank goodness.

+ I am really looking forward to wearing different clothes again once I lose more weight. I have so much to wear from last year and it breaks my heart. In the meantime, I have been wearing pretty much non-stop my collection of black Old Navy swing dresses with cardigans, and a couple LuLaRoe dresses. And leggings. All the time leggings. I cannot wait to wear pants again. And other dresses. And yes, I know I could get more clothes to wear now at the size I am, but a) I don't want to spend the money and b) I'm kind of using it as a reward to look forward to. Hoping by the end of the year I'll have wardrobe expansion? Shoes too.

So many mixed feels about Whole30 today. On one hand I could see myself continuing on with it for life because it is really not that bad and I feel like it's giving me a whole new, more healthy relationship with food and eating. But on the other hand... I want to eat all the things. I'm pretty sure that I will end up somewhere in the middle, but closer to W30 than to my old way of eating. I would leave room for special occasions and just a "fuckit" day here and there, but generally keep an eye on my intake of grains and sugar in particular. Dairy and legumes I'm not so worried about although I do have to watch it with them not to eat too much at once. I don't know. I guess we'll just see how I feel as it goes along post-W30. I really can't wait to see where I am at then, mentally and physically!