Thursday, March 5, 2009

You Better Get Out of There

"You better get out of there," C. told me yesterday when I said that food has become my everything again. He then revised his statement because maybe it did sound a little funny at first, but I told him, no, that's just right. I'm in this place, feeling trapped and uneasy and uncomfortable. I also feel trapped in my body again, it's become a cage once more, no longer a vessel, much less a temple.

I've made the decision that since I'm PMSing so hard this week (mostly mental and emotional difficulties and not physical), I'm going to let myself have the rest of it to prepare myself to get on board another commitment starting on Monday. Part of me feels lame for postponing it, but another part feels its necessary at this point... definitely need to give some good thought to the reasons I need to do this, and really be honest with myself. If I keep on the road I'm on now, I will get nowhere. I feel as if I would lose myself. I'm halfway there as it is.

I'll probably check in a few times between now and then and gauge my thoughts. I hope you will send me lots and lots of good vibes/thoughts/prayers/meditations, as I really need a big army behind me right now, I admit it.

As always, thanks for reading, and if you can, post a cheer or a well-wish for me? Seriously, I hate asking but I think it would really help.



  1. Random Encouragement from a complete stranger...

    I found your blog through I signed up there after I finally decided that I was ready to break free of the fifteen pound weight range that I'd hovered within since having children.

    One of the first things that I did on PhysicsDiet was look for someone with a public profile who was close to my age who had already had some success to help keep me motivated. I found you!

    I read this blog and your older blog and your experiences really convinced me that I could do it, and that I could finally break through plateaus and meet my goal of getting out of obese range and into normal range.

    Plus, you introduced me to TDP, which has been instrumental in helping me get to where I am now - more than ten pounds lighter than I was on New Year's Day.

    So, if you can motivate a complete stranger, you can get there yourself!

    Thank you!

    Siskiyou on

  2. Like Kel above I too am a random stranger. I have no clue how I found your blog though. I've found you very motivational as well. So I will just echo what she said "So, if you can motivate a complete stranger, you can get there yourself!" :)

  3. This is the worst part of the year, but spring is coming with warmer weather and longer days. So stop looking back and beating yourself up, look at where you were this time last year and what you have achieved and move on forward.
    We have moved countries and between states, and one of the best pieces of advice someone gave me right at the start was not to look back and say what if, but always to look forward and say what if. Never second guess your decisions, for better or worse they are done, now move on.

  4. Kel, Julie: Wow, your comments blew my mind! See, you don't really have any idea what sort of impact you might have on someone else's life, and it's really nice to know. I am glad you are seeing success with your goals.

    batty: Thanks... I really needed to hear that, even if I inherently knew it somewhere deep in my craw. You're the best.