Hanging In There

Haven't weighed myself yet this morning. I am sort of afraid to, but I will... for me, it is the best way for me to stay on track during maintenance. I need to have a Steak Day today. Yesterday was sort of off.

I guess I wasn't that bad with my eating yesterday, but I wasn't great. Technically I shouldn't be eating any starch or sugar until tomorrow (there are two phases to maintenance), but, well, I did.

Just like last time, I plan to log everything I eat during maintenance so that I have a clear vision of what works and what doesn't.

So, here's yesterday's food. It's not pretty.

Food Log 4/6

• Apple with dark chocolate peanut butter

• Small bowl of chili and one small corn muffin

• A few handfuls of wasabi almonds

• A handful of Hershey's kisses

• A spoonful of dark chocolate peanut butter

• One and a half bowls of chicken-asparagus pasta

• One dinner roll

See, not so hot. I didn't need the kisses, and I didn't need the pasta. I could have just have the chicken and asparagus part of the meal. I sort of lost my head there.

I think part of my problem is that I messed up financially this week. I was trying to hold on to my "buffer" and instead, I frittered it away, thinking that I was comfortable and that my bank account was fine... and then when I finally went to check my account balance... I was headed for trouble and not getting paid until Friday (this happened on Monday). So now I am overdrawn (big sad face) but having learned another important lesson. Just because you've had success in one area doesn't mean that you shouldn't remain vigilant and thoughtful about the choices you make.

Sound familiar? I have talked about this before, long ago when I still had my Forty Project blog, about the correlation between my relationships with food and money? I have the same issues. My finances have stabilized quite a lot in the past couple years, but clearly I still have some work to do. I am trying not to be too stressed out or upset about the money (I'm in effect throwing it out the window with the fees I've incurred — OUCH!), but rather to really take this as (another) learning experience. I'm not ever going to get so "comfortable" that I feel like I don't need to keep track of my daily expenditures.

It's JUST like with food!

Anyway, on top of that the stress of the situation is sublimated a bit (again, trying to not let it bother me since I can't do anything about it until I get paid tomorrow) and it's reflected in how I ate yesterday. Not only because I turned to some of my more traditional comfort foods (pasta, bread, chocolate), but also because I can't go to the store and buy anything to supplement what we have in the house. Thankfully, we have plenty to eat, and I do have fruits and veggies and stuff... *sigh* I don't know. I wasn't really thinking right yesterday, when it comes down to it.

Today I would like to be back on track and eating reasonably. I don't like how that food made me feel yesterday and sort of missed my usual approach to eating. One thing I will note though is that my portions are definitely much smaller than they used to be, which is great! You gotta take credit where credit is due, right?

Here's to a better day, no matter what the scale says.