SO FAT. Yes, I said it.

You guys, I am SO FAT today. Jesus.

I just went off the rails, just like that. I guess starting on Tuesday. God, and I just keep doing it. Today, I was OK and doing the whole 16/8 thing again, and come lunch I ended up... I can't believe I am going to admit this here to the whole world...

I got a brick oven 12" pizza from Delta Sonic (I know, weird, right? But pretty good!) and then I freaking drove down to McDonalds for a chocolate shake, oh, and why not pile a medium fry on top of all that, right? (I also bought a bag of Cheetos at DS but ended up only having three.)

I ate it, all of it, maraschino cherry and all. It doesn't feel good, of course. It feels disgusting. I hate being in my skin today. It feels wrong.

This is a continuation of yesterday, during which I did NOT do 16/8, but had the weekly FREE bagel with cream cheese at the office for breakfast, then bad Subway choices for lunch (including a whole meatball parm sub and three of those stupid m&m cookies), and THEN had a local take out joint's massive steak hoagy and fries, I mean, seriously?

I don't want to be so fat anymore, so why do I keep doing this?

I let being sick and being sick of being sick get to me, ultimately. The frustation of not being able to run or walk for exercise pissed me off. The house is a mess. I have nothing to wear (or at least it feels that way). Thank goodness the antibiotics are working. I am on the mend, but I still cough and I still have congestion and so even a little activity sends me into a coughing fit.

Just feeling really, really down right now after such a wonderful couple weeks.

It's hard to take.