So Frustrated

It's amazing how much things can change in less than a week. The past two weeks I was flying high on some good losses and a ton of exercise, along with an overall great feeling about things in general.

This week is a totally different story. I'm not sure what to make of it except to chalk it up to the ebb and flow of our bodies, and of life in general.

Not only has my weight dramatically gone UP (from 274 on Saturday to 279 all this week so far!), but exercising has been more challenging and feels sluggish, less energized in general, AND my mood has been kind of up and down, while I am desperately trying to keep it light and positive. (I wasn't very successful last evening in particular. Ugh.)

Today I woke up wanting to eat everything. I left home for work early thinking about all the things I could stop and pick up to eat, but... I didn't. Thankfully. (I had been thinking mostly donuts, quite frankly.) Instead, when I got to work, I had a bagel and cream cheese, some oolong tea, and my first three glasses of water for the day. Not bad, not the best. Under the circumstances, pretty stellar.

I've been feeling big and bloated.

I know, it sounds like good old TOM or something, right? Wrong, though. I'm mid cycle right now and since I'm on the Pill, I don't ovulate. It shouldn't matter.

Well, whatever is going on, I'm going to keep trying to keep myself together and make the best choices I can make during this rough time. I'm trying not to be too hard on myself, to appreciate the progress I've made so far, and to assure myself that I will achieve my goals someday as long as I don't QUIT.

I WILL NOT QUIT.

On a more positive note...

Let me tell you about the activities of the past week, of which I am very proud especially since everything is like slogging through molasses. (It's not even that hot, though all my running friends have been complaining about humidity.)

On Saturday, my running group met at Chestnut Ridge, a local park that is famous for its hills. When I was a teen and on the cross country team in high school (I only lasted one season, by the way), torture sometimes came in the form of running up one of the more notorious hills there. Fortunately, my town was not super close to CR, so it didn't happen often, but it sure was memorable!

A fall scene in Chestnut Ridge. Those little rolling hills – this is what our route looked like, except green!
Photo by John Tornow.

So that's where we met, and faced a three-mile route rife with light, rolling hills. Rolling hill after rolling hill after rolling hill. It went through some lovely landscape that reminded me of my dad's neighborhood in New Hampshire, and like there, it makes for a challenging run. I was able to run without stopping for the first 2.7 miles, and I am happy to say at a pretty good clip, too. The last few points of mile were brutal, though – all uphill and continually leveling up – and there was nothing left for me to give except walking. More like trudging. I did run for a few yards at the very end where it finally leveled out, ending with about 3.3 miles total on the books.

Me (on the right) with my Chestnut Ridge running buddy, Jewel We did it!

On Tuesday, group met at the Fleet Feet store and we had our first speedwork session. This was made up of one mile warm-up run, six 200 meter sprints with shorts rests in between each, and a one mile cool down run. All together it ended up also being around 3.3 miles and it was also very challenging, but in a much different way. The sprinting was fun and it was cool to push my body to do something it doesn't ordinarily do – run as fast as it can. This entailed a lot of belly fat flopping around, which wasn't the most comfortable thing, but also was not as bad as I thought it was first going to be.

I totally didn't think I'd be able to finish the run back to store, but surprise! I made it, and with energy to spare, kind of.

Last night my partner and I went out to play tennis for the first time since last Friday – his back had been bothering him so he wanted to give it time to rest. We ended up putting in an hour and fifteen minutes worth and had a great time. We're both making progress – he in regards to his fitness, and me in regards to fitness and playing skill.

But boy oh boy, I am feeling it today. Ouchies.

Here's to the promise of next week – there is always something to look forward to.

Coming my way: adidas Performance Barricade Team 3! Love them.

(I got some real tennis shoes for super cheap, arriving on Saturday!)