Monday, March 9, 2015

The Good, the Bad...

The good.

The Good: 

I am alive. I am healthy. I am (pretty darned) happy overall. 

This morning on a whim I put on those size 22 dress pants I've held onto for over 10 years, hoping to be able to wear them again, and they fit! They're a tiny bit snug, but wearable with the right top. Finally.

I got a really nice haircut here on Friday. It was a little scary and I almost cried on the reveal, but I am really liking it now. I feel much more myself with a bob! And I'm learning how to use a wand! (i.e., I'm not very good at it yet, but I managed to get a little bit of extra wave in my hair this morning, as you can see above.) (If you didn't realize, my hair had grown about halfway down my back, so this was a big change.) 

On Saturday, my 5K training group met up in the morning at the lovely Chestnut Ridge park for our group run. I haven't been there in a long time, probably in fact not since my high school cross country team had a few practices and meets there – the hill training there is VERY challenging, to say the least. In fact, I'd consider Saturday's workout to be one of the most physically challenging I've had in recent memory. Tough stuff, but I made it through with the encouragement of my teammates and the fabulous coaches and mentors we have. Here's a photo of me at the end with Pat, the mentor who saw me through the last hill. Pardon the lipstick on my teeth, oops! Hey, I am keeping it real. Hard work is not always pretty, but it is always worth it.

Pat and me, after putting in 45 minutes and 2.63 miles in cold and sometimes icy conditions. Average pace was 17:18, which is awesome in my book!

I had a nice weekend. We had a good friend over for dinner on Saturday – so that day ended up being a very busy one filled with the morning run, wine shopping, grocery shopping, cleaning, and cooking! Phew! It is always nice to see our friend, but one thing that I loved especially on this visit was his very kind words about our home and how cozy it is. He said something to the effect of how when you walk in the door, it just feels like home – even though it's not! Reminding me once more about how lucky we are to have what we have.

The Bad: 

*sigh* I don't know. I've been trying desperately to right my eating. I do OK here and there, but there is so much room for improvement, and the scale reflects that. I'm just kind of stuck between 296 and 300 (though on Saturday after I got home from the group workout, I hopped on the scale for fun and got a 293 reading! Wow! Yet, I knew it was a fluke.). There are worse places to be, but I'd really like to make more definitive progress again. 

The Good:

On the flip side of that, I also had an appointment with my GP on Friday. For the first time in a while, my blood pressure is normal! And I brought it down from the danger zone with no medication. Yes, I did have a prescription for Lisinopril, but I never wanted to take it and I just knew I could "fix" it myself. Basically, I got an A+ from my doctor all around... my recent bloodwork came through fine, too. Progress comes in many guises, and I really value this kind. On a side note, I also asked my doc about loose skin. He seems to think that my skin looks to be in good shape that I may be surprised at how resilient it might be when all is said and done. I asked whether he thought that moisturizing would be helpful (I thought it was kind of a stupid question), and he said yes – so I have decided that it's not going to hurt to be diligent about nightly body moisturizing and see if it helps. He also mentioned that staying hydrated will help, too. Well, I have that under control, at least! 

I'm continuing my yoga and meditation practice. Recently I found the lovely Adriene and she is so great – perfect for my ability level and with a really down-to-earth personality. Among my goals for practicing these are to get in better touch with my mind and with my emotions – I tend to stress out pretty easily, and have a bad habit of snipping when I shouldn't (especially at my partner, whom I value and love and who deserves better). While I am still far from perfect at controlling myself, or holding an awareness, I do think it's making a difference. Of course I am happy to reap the physical benefits as well – becoming stronger, building stamina, balance, and flexibility. It's been wonderful. 

Other thoughts:

I feel like I am at a crossroads in many ways. I've been at this juncture before, and in the past I've retreated and ended up back where I started. I am determined NOT to do that this time and all I can do is keep trying and keep being mindful of my actions and thoughts and make the most of everything. I have to stay positive. I have to want the best for myself. 

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