Monday, October 12, 2009

One Week Down

One week down, however many it takes to go...

It's been a week since I "started up" again, and I'm pleased to say that I am down 3.6 pounds since last Monday, 324 this morning. I mean, I am still not thrilled, but I am proud of myself for nipping it in the bud not once, but twice majorly (remember back in May when I came back here after gaining much of the weight I had lost last year?).

The eating situation is getting better, though I've just acquired an additional part-time job as an artist's assistant that will be pretty intense throughout the month. So that alone will have me more active and eating less overall.

I'm really determined to keep going with this, no matter how long it takes or how much like Sisyphus I feel. I'm hanging in.

Friday, October 9, 2009

Weigh-in: 325.6

I count myself lucky that I came through this week with a little bit of a loss... two pounds is pretty good since Monday, yeah?

I still have a lot of work to do to get myself back on track, though. I haven't been very good with my eating at all. I noticed that it's been a lot of emotional or stress-related eating. Rebellious eating, even. I've definitely been more AWARE of it, though, which is a small step in the right direction.

It's been a weird week. There's been some good developments, but also some crap to process. Most important in all this is that I have yet to lose hope, or faith in myself that I can do what I need to be healthy and happy.

Wednesday, October 7, 2009


Yesterday was mostly a bust, but I got on the scale this morning anyway. Must be some weird hormonal stuff going on, because I saw an almost two pound loss, down to 325.8. And that was after a day in which I ate like four cupcakes and, *ahem* ice cream. Not a great showing at all, but I am in a good mindset for this so I think it will be OK. As long as I take some step each day to get me to my goals, I will be happy.

What may have helped my case yesterday was that after dinner, instead of promptly plopping into my recliner for an evening of television, I decided to deep clean the bedroom, which has been a total sty now for longer than I'd like to admit. I swept and dusted, and finally went through the pile of stuff that has been accumulating next to the dresser and behind the door. Seeing that every day always made me feel crappy, so it made a HUGE difference to see it all gone, stored away or thrown out. I even washed a "new" comforter that we inherited from my aunt and uncle to replace the ratty one we've been using for way too long, AND washed out the cat's litter boxes and cleaned up their area. On top of that, I did a load of laundry, so by the time I finished I was super sweaty. I'm telling you, housework is the best exercise—plus you get things that need to be done taken care of!

Today has gone pretty well so far. I had a PB&J sandwich for breakfast, and brought some black beans with me to have for lunch. I've been drinking my water, too. I'm not sure what we are having for dinner; it may involve take-out of some kind but I promise that I will try hard to make decent choices.

I just want to get back under 320 again, for now. I'm doing it.

Tuesday, October 6, 2009


So, there were cupcakes at work. With orange frosting.

The cupcakes won.

(I tracked them, at least! But they totally won. Reason #3287 that skipping a meal is a very bad idea.)


So, it's been a while. Hey!

I braved the scale for the first time in maybe about a week? I knew it was going to be bad news, which is why I'm saying that I "braved" it... and I was right. I'm up to 327.6 today, way over the 320 threshold I was trying to stick around.

It's no surprise, though, considering how I've been eating these days. I got back on an ice cream kick and I guarantee you that's where the seven or so extra pounds came from. I was eating ice cream, a big bowl of it, once (maybe even twice) a day. I mean, duh, right? I am also pretty certain that once I cut out that sort of crap behavior the weight should come off fairly quickly, knowing how my body works.

All I know is, I am GLAD I got on the scale today because now I can do something about it. My plan today is a simple one, and it is just for today—because that is what I know I can do right now. I am not talking about a week, or a month. A day, that's today. Today I weighed myself (step one), I am drinking at least eight glasses of water (step two), and tracking my food (step three). Step four is staying within a certain calorie level, which is 2200 give or take.

So far, I had a weird-ish, not so great breakfast: a strawberry Coolatta and a egg and cheese wrap from Dunkin Donuts. The one thing I set up poorly for myself today is just not planning, not preparing things to eat at work today. So, I stopped at DD for breakfast, and I am planning to skip lunch (I know, I know—skipping meals=bad). But I do know what we're having for dinner. Steaks, baked potato, and roasted asparagus, so I can plan all that. Now if my meal tracking site would finish maintenance already, so I can enter my food, we'd be all set.

Actually, the DD meal could be worse. The wrap is small and not too bad calorie-wise. The drink is not great but there are way worse things out there, and to be honest I thought it was way worse than it is, about 400 calories. Nutrition-wise is another story, I know it's empty calories. But hey. Baby steps.

So that's what's going on.

It's funny how much your perspective can change with such a simple act. Just last night I was telling C. how "I just can't do it right now, I just don't have it in me..." about the weight loss thing. But that number on the scale man, it didn't really give me a choice.