Monday, November 30, 2015

Back to the Drawing Board

I faced the music this morning on the scale: 272.

That means I gained about 7 pounds from Thanksgiving morning until this morning.

Boo hoo hoo.

Today I am back on it and determined to make my new goal for the end of the year: 258, which I am pretty certain I can do.

Disappointing? Yes.

But, since I am in this for life I know I will get to where I want to be eventually. Maybe just not next year. On the positive side, I am learning from every single tangent/sidebar/misstep I make. Truly.

Sometimes I feel kind of stupid continuing this blog because it seems like I am making zero progress in many months, but if you're willing to humor me, I'm keeping at it. It helps to hash it out here publicly. Maybe it is a little embarrassing, but maybe it is also helpful. Both my partner and I are feeling a little discouraged, but we have vowed to each other that we're NOT giving up.

I might show my second monthly gain in this history for November, but most assuredly I will make marked progress to round out the year.

A promise to myself.

Sunday, November 29, 2015

I Can't Even

Just keeping it real, folks.

The long weekend ended up being a bust for the most part. Up until yesterday, it wasn't too bad, but I ended up totally overdoing it last night, and it may have involved way too much sparkling wine and mini marshmallows. The result was both a wine and food hangover of epic proportions today... and the mayhem continued. We finished off the Thanksgiving leftovers (and I have a new plan for next year's meal), good riddance, I tried to sleep it off mid-afternoon. I wasn't really planning to eat any more for the rest of the day, but I did.

I don't know. I don't feel too badly about it, but then I kind of do. But what can you do, when it's already been done? All you can do is move on and get back to it.

Which is exactly what I'm going to do. Again.

On the plus side, I had a great time at No Boundaries yesterday and got in about three miles total between the walk with WalkFit and a very short run after. My friend and former mentor Liz ran with me, and because of her I was able to run my fastest mile since I was derailed by runner's knee – about a 14:57 pace! Hooray!

In other running news, I'm signed up for a half marathon relay race with my pals Amy F., Angela, and Emily! We'll each take a 3.3 mile leg and we're going to totally rock it! It's the Winter Warrior Half Marathon and Relay in nearby Rochester on January 9th. I should have plenty of time to get back up to snuff for that distance. Exciting!

I've just really got to stay positive about all this.

My goals have shifted over the weekend, and I am OK with it. Originally I wanted to try to get down below 260 before next week and then below 250 by the end of the year, but honestly? With this setback, neither one is going to happen. A more realistic, totally doable goal is to reach 262 258 by the end of the year, which would give me a 50 pound loss for the year – can you tell I like round numbers? ;) That's not too shabby by any standard.

On to the next one!

Friday, November 27, 2015

Thanksgiving Was Fine

I had a lovely Thanksgiving, and hope you did, too.

As I do every year, I started in the kitchen early and ended up putting in several hours on my feet conducting what ended up being, as a whole, one of the best if not the best holiday dinner ever in the many years I've been at it.

The big bonus was that the whole time, I barely broke a sweat doing it. Seriously.

In the past, I have ended up literally covered in sweat by the time I was ready to put dinner on the table. Last year was better, but this year was the best. Sure, I was a bit tired after being on my feet much longer than I am used to, but I didn't need a shower and I felt pretty darned good sitting down to feast.

Looking back on last year, I ate one plate of food plus one dessert and one glass of wine. This year, I treated myself to a light breakfast (two eggs over easy and an English muffin) to tide me over until our early dinner, had a heaping plate, but drank a LOT of wine over the course of the day – close to two bottles, to be honest.

I also ended up NOT doing my own personal Turkey Trot, but that's OK. This morning I had a PT appointment first thing in the morning followed by a fun run at Fleet Feet, the Waffle Run, which – you guessed it – involved waffles and all the toppings afterward. I ended up doing two really good miles at my fastest pace in a while, just a sliver over 15 minute miles!

This week saw a low weight of 264 but for no good reason the morning of Thanksgiving it was 266. Still not bad, not far from where I wanted to be. This morning, the day after, post-run? 266, thank you very much. I'm hoping that I'll see 265 at official weigh-in tomorrow.

We went to visit my mom today and brought leftovers over to share. While I did have a small waffle this morning, we just ate the one big leftover meal at lunchtime and some pie for dessert, and that was it.

Tomorrow I've got No Boundaries WalkFit and will get another short run in after.

I felt a little stiff and tired today, but glad I went out and got some activity in. It was a beautiful day for it!

Here's to many more bountiful and enjoyable Thanksgivings... cheers!

Tuesday, November 24, 2015


I just wanted to tell you!

I did the Thanksgiving shopping last night after work. At a grocery store.

You know... the grocery store. Where they have a bakery and have donuts for sale? Where I had been totally being a weirdo and buying donuts every time I went so that I could scarf them down in my car before driving home?

Yep. Didn't happen this time! Donuts did not even cross my mind, until I pulled into the driveway and saw a text from my partner saying, "Oh no. Hope you didn't get donuts."

That was the cutest.

Nope, I didn't get donuts.

Monday, November 23, 2015

Wow! Woo!

I have shifted gears a bit in the name of Thanksgiving, as I talked about in yesterday's post.

This morning, I weighed in at 265 – which, as a reminder, is the lowest I've been so far on this journey. This means that any more loss this week is total gravy. Well, kind of. I'd really like to see 263 or less on the scale by the weekend.

Trying not get too excited, but I really think I will make this happen, even with Thanksgiving in the way!

To celebrate, I took a couple body shots post workout (and toweling down and changing clothes, of course). I am not a huge fan of these, but whatever. It's what I look like, hey! I should get over it! (Still, I look better in my head, go figure, argh body dysmorphia.) Clothing notes: new shirt from the Gap, size XXL; jeans from Kmart circa 2008, one of those items that was always much smaller than everything else the same size, that is 24. Otherwise, I'm well into pants sizes 22, 20... almost to 18. These jeans will likely be too big in another ten pounds or so.

Also, I got this in my inbox and this, and I read this. All good and relevant for what I've been going through and feeling lately, and maybe for you, too? (Gems from Jason at Strength Running, Nia at Lift Like a Girl, and Leo at zen habits. Enjoy!)

Sunday, November 22, 2015

Dealing with Holidays

The lovely turkey from Thanksgiving 2013. 
I am happy to say that I am back into the 260s again – weighed in yesterday at 268, which means that I haven't yet lost all the weight I gained last week, but I am more than halfway there. It's a step in the right direction!

But now I am facing Thanksgiving week. I know a lot of people who are trying to lose weight freak out at the idea of managing good eating habits but still having a good time and eating the food they love. Of course, we're heading into that long holiday season, period, where we'll all have to work our way around various parties, more sweets at the office, family gatherings, etc. etc.

Last year around this time I was right around six months into losing weight, which also happened to be a kind of "make or break" time for me. In past weight loss efforts, it was around six to nine months when I started giving up and gaining the weight back. So I was extra nervous! I was also extra determined to not get derailed again. Long story short, I made it past holiday season relatively unscathed and with losses for the months of November, December, and January.

This year I have some added incentive and some more deliberate goals, though. I know that I will get past the season just fine, but I want more than that this year. As I have mentioned before, I would like to get down under 260 by the end of this Ton of Fun session (December 5th is the last weigh-in for it), and under 250 for the new year. If I want to reach that first goal in particular, I'm going to have to be really diligent in the next two weeks.

Yet, I also want to fully enjoy my Thanksgiving meal!

My plan is:

• Eat less than usual today until Thursday – between 1200 and 1500 cals instead of the usual 1900.

• Map out my eating for those days, in advance. I've actually already done this in MyFitnessPal for the entire week, including Thanksgiving and the days following as well.

• Map out a plan for exercise. I've done this in my Workout Log online already!

Monday: An hour or more at the gym, including PT exercises, upper body strength, and cardio (ended up doing 45 minutes of intense cardio and a 20-minute/1 mile walk on my lunch break)

Tuesday: Gym in the morning, similar to Monday; No Boundaries in the evening: Mentoring WalkFit about 5K in 45 minutes) plus a 1.6 mile run before (decided to nix the morning workout as I will get plenty in after work)

Wednesday: PT appointment 30 minutes of grueling PT, plus a short 10-minute run to the ATM before work. ;)

Thursday: My own personal Turkey Trot in the afternoon – run/walk 5K or 4 miles

Friday: PT appointment in the morning followed by a group fun run at Fleet Feet

Saturday: No Boundaries, same as Tuesday.

Sunday: Presumably rest. You gotta rest.

For this coming week, it is my hope to get down to 265 or below. I'd love to see 263 – may as well be as specific as I can, right? Then, the following week I want to see 259 or below.

As I have said before, I usually don't use time-based goals anymore. I think they can be discouraging in general, but for this period of time in my journey it seems like a good tool to use! The worst that can happen is that I miss the mark – but I know that I will make some sort of progress, and that is the important thing.

Perhaps most importantly, I plan to fully enjoy Thanksgiving dinner! I do all the preparation and really love the process of pulling everything together. But the eating is the best, no?

On the menu, a pretty traditional feast:

• Roasted turkey (from a local farm!)
• Sausage stuffing (Grandma's recipe)
• Mashed potatoes
Maple-pecan sweet potatoes
• Homemade cranberry sauce with orange and ginger
• Southern-style green beans
• Homemade cheese bread (it's braided and gorgeous!)
• Apple pie and blueberry pie from a local bakery that is to die for
Cranberry-brie cinnamon sugar puff pastry swirls (this is something new I'm trying, mmm...)

I'm not making any "healthy" substitutions, but I am going to eat reasonable portions – I don't want to overeat, especially knowing that I'll be doing my Turkey Trot later on.

So that's it! My plan is in place and I couldn't be more pleased with it.

What are your plans for the holidays coming up?

What is your favorite holiday recipe?

Wednesday, November 18, 2015

Back on Track

I'm happy to report that I am truly back on track this week. Things are going well and the whole eating thing feels normal and good again. Talk about crazy hormones!

I had an appointment with my dietitian yesterday morning and we talked a lot about what happened and some strategies on how I might better deal with it in the future. Making sure to get adequate protein levels in during a time like that was one way (satiety), and another was talking yourself down from it... so in my case a big issue last week was last-minute decisions at the grocery store involving carby sweets, i.e. donuts. I'm not proud of this at all, and it is a little embarrassing to share, but I will because that is what I do. ;)

I'll go to the store for necessities and find myself gazing at the bakery donuts, choose two or three, bag 'em up, and then... once I am out in the car, before I drive home I eat them right then and there.

So this involves compulsive behavior as well as the lovely secret eating crap I've been doing on and off for what feels like my whole life. (Ask my mom about the empty ice cream cartons in the freezer, whittled down sneaky spoonful by spoonful when no one was looking.) I know that part of it is certainly driven by hormones on overdrive, but part of it is the issues I've had with food and eating for a long, long time now. Part of me is scared to succeed at losing weight for various reasons. Sometimes fat feels like protection and it's hard to give that up.

I won't go into my various personal issues related to this here in the blog, but Mindy and I did talk about how it might be beneficial for me to do some talk therapy with someone who specializes in eating disorders to try to work it out – else I might not ever be free of this stuff. And I want to be! So that is going to be something to add to my toolbox in the coming months.

Mindy also suggested trying to make better choices when in the midst of a "crisis" such as I was in last week. Of course she understood that it can be much easier said than done, but in the future this is something I will try to keep in mind, even when my hormones are clouding my judgement. For instance, a few granola or protein bars would be a better choice to binge on than a few donuts, calorie-wise and nutrition-wise. I can think of a couple types of KIND bars that would likely fix a wicked craving, honestly – so that is something viable.

We'll see. My biggest hope is that such crazy cravings like that will not hit me again – though I am not counting on it. As Mindy said, life will always happen and we have to be prepared to deal with those curveballs and odd situations. It's a process. I'm learning, always.

In other news, I'm running here and there and it's going OK, despite some lingering knee pain. I'm still working on PT twice a week, but every time I do the exercises (which are getting more challenging but also more dynamic and fun) I always feel better. This morning left me literally dripping in sweat! It was great. Then after, I had some time to kill before work so I parked my car in the lot and went out for a short run, just about 3/4 mile. I'm trying to take as much advantage of this beautiful weather we're having while it lasts! A snowstorm could hit at any time, like it did last year at this time. (Yikes!)

Unfortunately, I need to get better at planning ahead during the week, both for packing lunches and packing my gym bag! It seems like I always forget something in the latter, it's stupid. Sometimes it's something not as obvious, like fresh underwear or socks, but on other days like today? PANTS. Fortunately I wore boot cut yoga pants this morning, so they are not too much of a stretch, but because I worked out in them, they're not the freshest ever. And I just feel sloppy and gross as a result. I forgot deodorant, too! Trust me, I am doing my best to avoid getting too close to anyone at the office.

So I thought on lunch break that maybe I could zip over to Target and buy a new pair of jeans and be done with it – throw them on when I got back. Sadly, though, the plus size section situation is not getting any better over at Target, and while I did find a couple contenders, they just didn't work for me. And can we talk about those horrible, horrible fitting room mirrors? I couldn't decide while I was there whether they would throw me into a frenzy of donuts, or help keep me on track.

It turned out to be the latter, but I also realized another thing – there are some panties in my drawers that really need to given up. The ones I have on today are so comically baggy that I was embarrassed just looking at them in the mirror with no one around! You see, I don't have a full-length mirror upstairs (though there is one in the basement) and I don't ever see myself in my undies. I more or less go by how they fit, which at present is baggy but not falling off. Seeing the visual sealed the deal, though. A major underwear drawer overhaul is due!

I ended up not buying any jeans (though I do fit into size 20 pretty all right), but I did indulge in some new tops. At least in tops I can shop in the "regular" section and have some options in the XXL size. I've been watching a lot of Project Runway lately and it's really making me want cool clothes again so badly. Maybe I'll even start sharing some of my outfits with you here from time to time. I started a Pinterest board a while back to try to build a library of what appeals to me, which you can see here; I'm pretty eclectic but also like the classics as much I love, say new wave and punk styles. You know what, though? I just keep going back to this image as inspiration. This is not me, of course, but this is a version of me who is hanging out in the background waiting for her chance on stage. The hair, the makeup, the textures, the colors, the layers... gets a big ol' *sigh*fest from me.

May apologies, I do not know where I found this originally.

Sunday, November 15, 2015

Focused on Goals

Despite my crazy roller coastering lately, I still have faith that I can reach a solid goal or two by the end of the year. Normally I don't go for time-based goals anymore because of my poor experience with them in the past (got discouraged when I didn't meet them, gave up), BUT I think this time of year is as good as any to set some for further motivation as we close out 2015.

So here I will lay out what I'd to accomplish in the next month and a half.

Primary goal:

Ultimately, I'd like to see below 250 pounds by January 1st. That's probably stretching it a bit, especially seeing that I haven't had a big enough monthly loss to support that since I first starting losing weight back in May 2014. But, that's my big fantasy, and I'm going to shoot for it.

Secondary goals:

I'd like to see below 260 for the last weigh-in of this Ton of Fun session, which is December 5th. It seems a little ambitious considering my weight skyrocketed back up to 272 for this weekend's weigh-in, but I do think that I should be able to lose that recently gained weight fairly quickly and then take care of the extra 6-7 pounds needed for that. I really think if I can regain my focus it is possible.

See, then the sub-250 goal for the end of the year would be totally doable, too.

If all else fails, at the very least I want to see sub-260 by January 1st, which would net me a 50 pound loss for 2015. Not too shabby!

Things I will be doing to make this happen:

 • Sticking to my 1900 daily calorie goal as much as possible.

• I signed up for a Winter Warrior running group that begins in early December to keep me active, in addition to gym time. (That said I may take it a bit easier this week because I have been pretty tired lately. Will listen to my body and work accordingly.)

Monday: Rest or gym
Tuesday: No Boundaries (probably walking)
Wednesday: PT
Thursday: Rest or gym
Friday: PT
Saturday: No Boundaries (probably walking)
Sunday: Rest or long walk

• Continue working on balancing my meals as much as possible. More protein, fewer processed carbs and sweets (only because they really seem to mess me up, especially during PMS when my cravings for them become nearly uncontrollable).

• Starting tomorrow, daily weigh-in – with the promise of no freak-outs – only to keep myself focused.

This week's goal:

Get back down into the mid-260s.

Friday, November 13, 2015

Running Crazy

The whole lot of us on a stop to Friends of the Night People to donate canned goods for the homeless.
That's Amy F., me, and Emily in the front row all in black. 

I couldn't have ended the day yesterday on a better note.

If you recall, in the morning I weighed myself and it was not so warm and fuzzy. But, at the same time the gain I had was so crazy I didn't have much room to feel upset about it.

After work, though, I went on the Taco Trot that Fleet Feet organized as part of the Pub Run series they do. The run started and ended at Cantina Loco, and awesome Mexican restaurant in the Allentown neighborhood of Buffalo, near downtown.

I was kind of feeling yucky as I sludged downstairs to the bathroom to change into my superhero outfit (aka running gear). I didn't really feel like going, to tell the truth – especially because the weather had really taken a turn for the miserable with very high winds and rain. But my pal Amy F. convinced me that it would be a character builder, and as soon as those words were laid down, I was in. Challenge accepted.

I had decided to try to see how much I could run comfortably. The past few outings I've had I've done some run/walk intervals and those felt OK. I have been dying to know how much of my running fitness I lost or kept. So I ran. And I ran. I lost sight of everyone else because that's usually how it is. But I kept going, stepping through puddles and almost being blown over (literally!) countless times. I never checked my pace during the run because I wanted to just focus on how things felt and not worry about that. I was curious, though, because it was feeling good! I felt strong the whole time! I was barely out of breath!

When I arrived back at the restaurant, I was very pleased to see that my average pace was a respectable 15:38. I really couldn't believe it. SO PUMPED! I could still run.

Me with the foggy, wet glasses, Amy F. and Pat, post-run!

I also discovered that I really quite enjoy running in adverse weather – must be a bit of an adrenaline junkie and a little crazy. I like the idea of doing something that most people would not choose to. But I also find it hard to resist the chance to run with my wonderful friends, even if we're not running right together. Once we were all back at Cantina Loco, we enjoyed drinks and food and the best conversation. It saved a day that started out on the lowest note and ended it on the absolute highest.

Remember, the scale is absolutely NOT the best or only indicator of progress. Not by any means.

The rewards were great – drinks and delicious food with amazing friends. Angela, Amy F., me, and Emily!

Thursday, November 12, 2015

My Body Is Crazy.


I finally got my head out of the sand and weighed myself this morning.

Since Sunday, I have gained NINE pounds.

I have gained nine pounds in four days.

That is so wild and crazy that I don't even have room to be upset.

Wednesday, November 11, 2015

Ride the Waves

I want to do this in real life one day, but I am doing this figuratively every day.  Photo by Maria Georgieva.

The past few days – since the weekend, really – eating has been challenging. I want to say I've been doing my best, but am I? I don't know, probably not. I've got vicious cravings and I want to eat everything in sight, basically. While I haven't eaten everything, I've definitely been looser than usual and amassing about an extra 1000+ calories every day since Sunday. That will only mean one thing unless I reign it in stat, and that is: I WILL gain this week.

Not so much to make excuses for myself, but rather to analyze the why and how and wherefore of this? A few factors. First and foremost: PMS, no doubt about it. The cravings, oh man. But then there is also poor sleep over the weekend and since (except for the night before last when I slept for almost 12 hours  – I obviously really needed to catch up), plus the added fun of work-related drama/stress. There's been a situation that came to full light last week – an office affair (not mine!!!) that becomes even more complicated and unsavory but will spare the details – that affects all of us in the office. Stupid. On the surface I am mostly dealing with it but at the same time I know it's festering and totally bugging me, the whole injustice of it. Some emotional eating may be the result. I just want to eat ALL the food.

Of course, something else that might come into play as far as my appetite goes is the fact that I have upped my activity level a bit in the past few weeks, averaging fairly intense workouts 45 minutes to an hour a day, five or six days a week. Maybe my metabolism is increasing as a result? (Depending on what you read, yes or no. *shrug*) Either way, it's very real that my appetite seems to be increasing lately.

This is something I will definitely address with Mindy when I meet with her again next week, but maybe by then I'll be over it. It seems to come in waves.

Monday, November 9, 2015



I'm totally PMSing. That is what's going on, for sure. Hopefully it won't destroy all my great progress.

Sunday, November 8, 2015

A Couple Quick Things

A gorgeous fall morning along the Devil's Hole–Whirlpool trail. 

Just checking in after a busy but also lazy weekend. I have things to share!

1. I had a great weigh-in on Saturday after a nice 3.3 hilly miles of walking with a few three-minute running intervals sprinkled in; No Boundaries met up at Chestnut Ridge Park, which is famous for its rolling hills.

Down to 265. I can hardly believe it, especially after that crazy gain at mid-week. Trust the process.

2. Weight held at 265 this morning. I decided to go for a long walk at home, something I haven't done in a while. I initially was thinking, well, maybe a 5K distance, maybe even 4 miles... and then I got caught up in the idea of finally nailing the 10K distance. I walked most of it, but figure I probably gently ran about 1.5 miles of it. I walked over to Devil's Hole park and followed the trail to Whirlpool National Park, which is a veritable treasure that I feel so lucky to live within easy walking distance of.

It was really the perfect weekend, weather-wise, for these activities. Here it is the beginning of November and we've been enjoying temperatures that are relatively balmy. This weekend cooled down just enough to make these walks really enjoyable.

After my epic walk I raked leaves for about a half hour. The rest of the day I pretty much loafed – yesterday, too. I loafed and my eating was pretty poor. Today I had a little bit of a secret eating/binge episode that really upset me. It helped to share it with my partner, who made me feel better about it. What happened? I will tell you. It's nothing new, something I have done before that's pretty dumb. Sometimes when I go to the grocery store, I have a weird craving for donuts from the store's bakery, and I get two and eat them in the car.

I mean, I know it's nothing earth-shattering, but it always feels shitty. It felt shitty today.

I enjoyed them, but the shame of doing it made me feel awful afterward.

But anyway, I am OK now and ready to get back to the program with enthusiasm tomorrow.

I'm hoping to get a really good night's sleep tonight, something I didn't get in over the weekend.

How are you doing?

Thursday, November 5, 2015


Wow, have I ever been on some roller coasters this week! Let me tell you about them.

My weight. Holy crap. I was down to 267 on Monday. Then after a dinner snafu I was back up to 270 and I thought, no problem! I'm back to plan right away, and it will come back off. Yesterday I had a great eating day, and I have been exercising every day. When I got ready to weigh this morning I felt confident and even felt like my body was smaller somehow... but no.

Back up to 273!

I've gained six pounds since Monday. For no really good reason.

The body is so wild, mysterious, and complicated. What on earth is going on in there?

Well, as Mindy reminded me, unless I ate 3500 calories times six, I did not gain six pounds of fat. I know intellectually that this is probably about water, hormones, and maybe some stress. I always forget about the effect stress has on your body, especially when you're trying to lose weight. It's crazy! And I have been stressed out about a situation at work, and some lighter stuff at home. I need to remember that I can't control everything. I should probably think about meditating again.

But anyway. Back to roller coasters. That was the biggie. I'm definitely pissed off, but if I hadn't gone through this x times already I'd be extra upset, you know? As always, I trust the process and I know that I have been sticking with it (with the occasional digressions) pretty well. Eating has been better overall, and I am kicking ass with exercise. So I just have to keep doing my thing.

My gosh, how many times have I said the same thing to myself? 

Well, I just have to keep saying it. Because it's true.

Another roller coaster I have been is the fun emotional one. I just feel much more apt to tears lately, the past week in particular. Just today alone, here's me:

• At the gym, doing some lat pull-downs. I was struggling with the last few at 85 pounds but I got it done. The woman who was doing her workout nearby commented favorably toward me. I was SO excited! This was the woman I've been seeing almost every day I go to the gym and she kicks so much ass – she's always doing various weight training routines and I just love seeing her in action. Totally motivating and inspiring. I've been wanting to tell her that for a while now, so having this opening was such a gift.

I got up and walked over to her to say thank you and introduce myself. "Can I just tell you, you are my hero here?" I said as I shook her hand. Kelly responded in turn that I inspire her! "I see you working hard!" OMG. I couldn't even believe it. She is slender and curvy and strong. I want to be like her one day. And now it turns out that she is super nice, too!

After that I go over to get a 30-pound barbell to do a set of lifts (I forget what they are called), and I just about started crying. Tears came out, yes, but I didn't let it go full on. It just felt so good to be recognized and validated by someone I've been admiring. She has no idea what that did for me. And it brought tears to my eyes.

(Not sure what kind of tears they were – joy? Feeling sorry for myself? A little of both.)

Totally unrelated except in that it makes me cry, seeing animal-related stuff on Facebook always gets me and is really getting me today. I feel like a mess. Sad animal stuff, happy animal stuff... oh, animals. They are just the best.

Where does that leave me? Two days away from official weigh-in, I tell you what, now I will be happy if I can just maintain where I was last week at 268. But whatever. The time in which it takes really doesn't matter as long as I don't quit. This morning after I stepped off the scale I was tempted to say fuck it and go back to bed, but I didn't. I put my gear on and I got myself to gym, and early, too so that I could spend a little more time before heading to work. I ended up doing about 80 minutes worth of PT and strength training as well as a good chunk of cardio (25 minutes on the elliptical! Wow!). It felt really good, and pumped me up for a good day of eating as well, which I already have all logged and everything.

Grey skies are gonna clear up!

Sunday, November 1, 2015

Celebrating a Broken Plateau!

I am very, very happy to announce that after three torturous months, I seem to have broken out of the plateau I was in. I just couldn't seem to get out of the 270s for the life of me. With my extra efforts the past couple weeks, I have made some good progress and finally hit 268 at my weigh-in on Saturday. It was a real thrill, truly.

Now that we're in a new month, I'd like to set some goals for November.

• Since I would like to lose 20 pounds by the new year, I need to lose 10 each month. This might be pushing it a little bit, but I also think I can get really close if I continue my focused efforts. I feel like I am on a roll and want to carry it through to 2016.

So, I'd like to see 260 or less by the end of November.*

(In correlation to that, I expect that I'll be able to publicly wear a pair of size 20 Old Navy dress pants that I have never been able to wear before – I guess I bought them the last time I was losing weight but never got there. I do wear one pair of size 20 jeans from Avenue now. The ON ones I tried on tonight for the first time in a while and was amazed I could get them zipped and buttoned... they are just still too tight to wear out respectably. Ten more pounds should do it.)

• It looks like I might be finished with physical therapy by Thanksgiving. I was told about four more weeks by my PT and that was last week, so... yes, I'd really like to be finished with it by the holiday. I must be diligent with my exercises. I tell you what, my butt and legs are feeling pretty rock solid lately. That's a good sign.

• I will continue to get at least 30 minutes of sweat-inducing exercise at least five times a week, every week. That has been going well. I'm in the habit now.

• I have a plan in place for Thanksgiving, which I talked about with my partner who is also losing weight. We decided to only have the things we really, really like: A farm-raised turkey, sausage stuffing, a traditional sweet potato casserole, southern-style green beans simmered with a ham hock, homemade cheese bread, homemade cranberry sauce with orange and ginger (that one's for me – mmmm!). We'll make a much smaller portion of mashed potatoes than usual (they taste best the day of anyway), and we're getting pie from a local restaurant that is to DIE for.

For better or worse, we've both decided to go on an austerity budget, eating-wise on the few days before Thanksgiving to help mitigate the damage. I suppose you could compare it to the 5:2 diet thing, or intermittent fasting. It's not something I would normally do, but since Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday and one that I want to fully enjoy, I think it is a fine trade-off to take that approach.

In addition, I plan to do my 2nd Annual Personal Turkey Trot! Since I will be busy cooking that morning, I won't be able to attend the real Turkey Trot in nearby Buffalo with my friends, but I do plan to do either a 5K or 4 mile distance later that afternoon – walking or running, whichever I can do at that point. I did it last year for the first time and really enjoyed it and thought it would make a great tradition for me, and a way to burn some cals and get out of that turkey coma I'm sure I will be experiencing!

* NEW! I just figured out that the last weigh-in for ToF at Fleet Feet this session is going to be December 5th, and in order to get the 5% reward (two $25 gift certificates), I'll need to be < 259 or so. I really, really want to meet this goal! It's sort of an extended November goal going into December, but that is OK. I'm going to work really hard to get there, Thanksgiving be damned.


So how'd I deal with Hallowe'en? Well, I didn't really have to as we are one of those Scrooge-y houses that turn all the lights off and don't participate in the whole trick or treat thing. Of course that means no snack-size candy in the house. Instead, though, I had a planned indulgent day yesterday that included pizza, Smartfood popcorn, gelato, and chocolate, plus a bottle of sparkling wine – some of my favorite foods. It was somewhat controlled in that I stopped eating by around 5:30pm. Other mitigating factors included two hours of exercise that morning, plus drinking tons of water all throughout the day and into the evening, as well as the mindset that I would absolutely get back to business today – and I did! It is also my intention that until Thanksgiving, I will be sticking to plan fairly strictly. I really want to reach my short-term goal.

Breaking things down, I am aiming to lose two to two and a half pounds each week, and that has been happening the past two weeks once I started following Mindy the dietitian's suggestions. Depending on where I sit at the new year, I'll see whether I need a little break and work on maintaining at around 250, or continue on right away.

Beyond that important 250 mark, I'm looking intently at 230, a weight where I last remember feeling like I looked pretty "normal". Wow – it's not that far away anymore! I am super excited for the next six months to see where I end up.

In the meantime, I must focus on the day to day effort and not worry too much about what lies that far ahead.

One step at a time.