I'm feeling right discouraged this morning.
The scale is just not budging. Now, I know that the scale is not the only measure of what's going on in my body these days
(and just ends there with no resolution)
Today, however, is a whole 'nother story. Rather than letting my feelings get the better of me and do something silly like throw in the towel, or say "F--- it" and eat whatever, I decided to buckle down and get serious again, just for one day. It was all I felt I could commit to.
Sometimes you have to take very small steps. It's infinitely better than staying in the same place, isn't it?
No, I didn't starve myself. I didn't do anything much out of the ordinary except really focus on my goals and focus on the means to achieve them. I feel that in the past month, which has been my toughest one so far out of the five, I was losing that. Things were getting wobbly.
Yes, I have been logging my food diligently. The problem was that I was often eating my exercise calories and beyond a little too often. And that I wasn't eating so "clean" anymore, either. Sure, I eat plenty of fruits and veggies, but I was really eating way too many little snacks and sweets, and getting take-out more often that I'd have liked. I tried to make it all fit in, but you can only do so much when your eating habits are reverting slightly to what they used to be. It was not the direction I wanted to be heading in.
Anyway... yesterday was like an oasis. No take-out. All stuff whose content with which I knew exactly what I was dealing. Lots of fruit and veg. Some little activities (a stroll in the cemetery, cooking dinner and cleaning the kitchen), plus a good hour-long gym workout to cap off the day. It felt fantastic and it was reflected on the scale in a positive way.
Today, I am committing to another day like that.
Yesterday morning I was bitching to myself about how I should have been well below 320 by now. The reality is that I have lost just about 50 pounds in less than five months, which is pretty phenomenal, if you ask me. I wasn't even racing! I wasn't trying to lose it super fast. So to have a month where things stalled a little bit doesn't seem too unreasonable, as long as it's not signaling a lapse into my old lifestyle. Since that is definitely not happening, I'm not too worried. That is what I am clinging to.
Hikes are in my future. Kayaking is in my future. Running is in my future. This is really just the beginning, isn't it?
Speaking of running, I am signed up for two (yes, TWO!) virtual 5Ks. The first one is happening this weekend as an alternative to Halloween and all its associated treats – a way to combat it, I guess? One of the members of the Facebook group I belong to for the FUDiet suggested it, and I am totally into it. For both of these 5Ks, I will definitely be walking most of the distance, but will make an effort to sprinkle as much running in there as I can comfortably can.
The other one is more "official" in that I paid to participate and will even get a medal mailed to me! It's the Flat and Fabulous 5K. The organization behind it is a much-needed resource for women who have decided not to have reconstructive surgery after mastectomy.
I think that by taking these small steps, I will soon be on my way to building up my running practice again, which I fully intend to engage come spring – March, April?. By then I should be down enough on the scale and more fit that running will be much easier. Next summer: Kayaking for sure!
I'd like to leave you with an easy, delicious recipe for a more healthy cookie. I don't know where the original came from – I saw it on a Facebook post and have also seen many variations elsewhere online. But after having made it a few times now, here is how I like mine. These don't get too firm, but when they cool they're fine to handle.
In a bowl, mix together:
3 mashed ripe bananas
1/3 c. applesauce
2 c. oats (I used Irish rolled, but you can probably use any type)
3/4 c. – 1 c. chocolate chips or chunks (as high quality as you can find them!)
1/4 c. – 1/2 c. raisins
1 tsp. vanilla
1 tsp. cinnamon
You can either spread out the mixture onto a cookie sheet, about 1/2" thick, or scoop out spoonfuls. I have had them as dome-like shapes and tried them flattened slightly. These do not spread at all when cooking, so keep that in mind. Bake in oven at 350 degrees for 15-20 minutes.
Yum! Maybe not super healthy, but hearty, satisfying... and you're in total control of the ingredients. You could use less chocolate, add nuts, maybe use white chocolate? I've added some peanut butter in there, too, and that was good. There are many possibilities!
For this recipe as is, about 20 cookies at 93 calories each.