I had a rough week last week. I did OK with activities (though didn't get as much done as I'd planned), but eating was more or less out the window. On Saturday I ended up not even logging my food, which is unusual. I was feeling out of control and didn't have my heart in anything except feeling sorry for myself for my stupid knee situation and for my friend Peter dying tragically.
Friday night found me feeling pretty desperate in that I just didn't feel like I could keep doing all the stuff I've been doing, and that I would never lose any more weight. In that desperation, I reached out for help with a post on Facebook. I was a little embarrassed to do it, but at the same time I knew that I might get some good feedback from some of my friends, who have been cheering me on all the while.
I ended up with close to 60 comments! Here is a screenshot showing just a few. I was pretty overwhelmed by the kindness and support of so many. By the time the last comment posted, I was no longer sorry that I reached out and asked for help, because it made me understand how far I have come, how many people that I in turn have inspired in whatever way, and that I can't let a bad week get all of the good things I've been able to away from me. Just no way.
On Saturday, I went to running group (I'm mentoring the WalkFit part of it, though, so not running for me!) and it was great, as usual. Hanging out with those folks always cheers me up – and since some of them are my FB friends, I got still more pats on the back and encouragement by those who read my sad sack post. *sigh*
AND, after hemming and hawing most of the week about whether to weigh in or not – I knew I'd be up by a LOT and just didn't want to deal with it – I weighed in anyway and found myself up by five pounds, to 278. I was more or less prepared for that, but then I started talking about the whys for that happening with the program admin who was logging the info. The gates flooded, the tears flowed. Hugs ensued. It was a big mess, but it also felt like a good release. I left feeling determined that I'd be back down at next weigh-in. It stops NOW.
Saturday ended up being a bust more or less despite all this, but yesterday I finally said enough is enough. I was determined to have just one good day of eating, and eating within my calorie range. And you know what? I did it. Almost to the last calorie, too. It felt really good. Though it might be too soon to really know, I am pretty sure that my friends and family helped me get my mojo back.
In other news:
• Had my first meeting with the nutritionist, Mindy, on Wednesday! It was pretty awesome and I now have a good game plan set up for this next phase of success. She adjusted my calorie intake slightly and I am also NOT to count my exercise calories against anything at this point. So, I am at 1900 and she figures that for back to a two pound loss each week, rather than maintenance mode which is what I was really doing here these past couple months. Oh, wouldn't I love that so much right now!
Really, I am getting back to basics: whole grains, fruits and veggies, lean meats, good fats. Balanced meals with a combination of food groups at each. Keeping the metabolism fires burning. Drinking water (which has never been a problem). Meal planning and prep. Trying new recipes. Hunger and satiety awareness. One baby step at a time.
Sitting down and hearing it all again from a true expert was really helpful. We're meeting again in just over a month and I will be excited to see what my progress will be.
• Had an appointment with the sports doctor on Friday. He also feels that I have nothing serious going on and need to continue working on strengthening my glutes, which I will. He also says I've got sciatica issues on both sides as well as a herniated disc which may be causing some discomfort. I've got some stretch/strengthening exercises for that now, too. If I don't feel better within a couple weeks, he'll do a scan or x-ray or whatever he's got in mind, but he thinks that if I do what he's suggesting, I should feel a difference very soon.
Running is still a good 4-6 weeks away, if not longer. Rats. It's more and more OK, though – I am able to focus on strengthening my whole body, and I'm trying new things like the elliptical machine at the gym. I tiptoed on it once last week but felt awkward and gave up after a minute. This morning I tried again and told myself to give it five minutes at level 1, so that is what I did. Whew, that thing is intense! I consider myself to be pretty in shape at this point, but that kicked my butt. So now I am looking forward to building up my time on it. Next time, six minutes, and so on.
And as I mentioned last time, once the new year hits and my health insurance stuff resets, I'm joining LA Fitness again to work with my trainer, take classes here and there, and use the POOL.
Fuck this slump. I have so much to look forward to, not least of which is losing more pounds.
I'm doing it!