Sunday, August 12, 2018

Just Like Starting Over

Helloooo!

Anyone still out there?

*crickets*

I guess y'all probably imagined that I just totally gave up on things, and honestly? You'd be at least partially right. I kind of did there, for a few months. Sad to say, mad to say, but true. Yesterday became the breaking point, though, and my partner and I decided that we really need to get back to healthier eating and a better lifestyle in general again, and it starts... not Monday, nope. It starts today.

This morning was a pretty lazy one and I wasn't out of bed until 11 or so, but I made up for it as soon as I was up and running, starting with tidying up the kitchen some, including cleaning up the fridge a bit and taking inventory. I threw out the last of my latest bag of gummi bears, but parsed out the rest of my party-sized bag of Smartfood (cheddar cheese popcorn) into baggies of single servings. I worked on piles of stuff around the house – mostly sorting mail into the recycling – and started a load of laundry. I figured out what to make for dinner (pork chops and sweet potatoes) and mowed the front lawn. Once I got to the tiny, now jungle-like back yard, the mower crapped out and I couldn't get it to restart so I'll try again tomorrow evening. I swept the grass clippings.

I'm basically trying to create a relatively clean slate for myself. "Today is the first day of the rest of my life," etc. I'd been becoming more and more frustrated and angry about things being harder to do in my daily life again. I was super disappointed to be breathing more heavy taking a flight of stairs. I'm embarrassed and disgusted that bathroom stuff is difficult again. Like, WTF?

We've been eating all willy-nilly lately and drinking pretty liberally, too. Neither activity is very helpful to feeling good. My lunches have been out of control – i.e. getting take out every day – not good for the belly fat nor my bank account.

First step was getting a list together of dinners that we like and that are healthy and relatively low-cal, which for us at this point is anything below 1000 calories. I've resolved to get Subway for lunch once or twice a week but to not get cookies. I usually get a turkey breast or roast beef sub with all the veggies topped with red vinegar, so I'm good with that. It's something I really enjoy and it fits pretty well into the kind of lifestyle I want for myself. On the rest of the days, though – I really need to get that figured out. Portions will be important. My partner is planning to go back to having a can of beans (pinto or red or pink) for his lunches, and I think I might do the same along with a serving of brown rice and some avocado or something. Variations on that sort of thing. Veggies too.

I haven't been eating breakfast at all but I don't think that's been working well for me, because by the time I eat lunch I'm super hungry and tend to overeat. A lot. Sometimes then I will skip dinner or have a "snack," but it all ends up being too much. I have done intermittent fasting in the past and liked it, but I think for now I am going to try the three square meals thing and see where it takes me. For breakfast I'm thinking overnight oats and things like eggs baked in muffin tins or something.

I've been drinking a lot of diet soda again, so I also want to make water a priority.

I'm not going to worry too much about adding exercise in just yet, but I do want to start taking walks again regularly.

The good news is that I have kept off a 30 pound loss for about three years. The bad news is that I'm starting at 342 pounds when not too long ago I was well under 300.

So. It's just like starting over. I'm mad at myself but I also know that I can do this.

I'm doing it because I need to feel better physically, first and foremost. Carrying around this much weight does not feel good. I'm excited to be on my way to healing myself again.

28 comments:

  1. Thank you for your honesty. I have been in your exact same spot, several times. I wish there was an answer that works for all of us. Just hang in there, and never give up.

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    1. That means a lot, SuzyQ, thank you. The key really is very simple: never, ever giving up.

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  2. Welcome back! Kudos to you for cleaning and organizing and starting with a clean slate. You e had your period of ‘mad at myself’. No focus on the future!!! You can do it!!!!!

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    1. Thanks, MaryFran! I always appreciate the cheerleading! :)

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  3. Amy, why not come and join us for WalkFit at Fleet Feet?! We miss you. Great way to ease back in and we ALWAYS need more walkers! Cheers, Nancy (a fellow NoBo run/walker)

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    1. Nancy! Thanks for commenting, I miss you too. I do want to ease back into walking and running but not sure I am ready for the group yet. We'll see.

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  4. Welcome back! For what it's worth - maintaining a 30 lb loss for 1 yr+ (and documenting it) is the criteria for being on the National Weight Control Registry. You still have real success! We all need breaks. Welcome back to the practice. Sounds like you have a good plan for getting back in the swing of things.

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    1. Hi Wendy, it is always nice to hear from you. I hope things are going well on your end. I have been keeping that stat in mind about the 30 pounds and I am holding onto it as a point of pride for sure!

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  5. We have a couple things in common. I completely slid off track for about 3 months and now that I'm back I'm at about 30 pounds lost. We weigh almost the same, I'm in my 40s, AND I have 2 pair of cat eye glasses and 1 pair of the sunglasses!

    Have a great day!

    Sherry

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    1. Hi Sherry! That is pretty cool that we have those things in common. Do you blog also? Would love to read about your journey, too.

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  6. Great to see you here again, Amy! I am Pam, who can't seem to post under my name yet. LOL. I'm proud of you for drawing the line in the sand and getting back on the horse. You've got this! You know what to do and have had great success in the past. I know with me, once I see some good progress I am inspired to keep going. I am right here with you. Post often, I enjoy reading about your journey. Thank-you for sharing it. Have a great week making good choices for your body, mind, and spirit. Peace.

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    1. Hi Pam, it is nice to hear from you! Thanks so much for the encouragement and for reading. I'll have another update today!

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  7. Love your writting! Looking forward to more posts.

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    1. I really love hearing that, thank you so much and sorry for my late reply!

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  8. ��️ I'm here! I'm restarting my weight-loss again again. I had lost 30 lbs and regained 15 of them. So much stress happening in my life I'm eating take out every day and many nights a tub Ben and Jerry's. Enough. Thank you for sharing your story. I'm hoping it will encourage me to get healthier along with you!

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    1. Hi Natasha, thanks for your comment! I hope things are going OK with you. I'm totally a stress eater and can relate, especially when it comes to ice cream.

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  9. I know how you feel I have been up and down for years and its hard breaking old habits.I too skip breakfast and over eat once my hunger pains kick in,also since exercising hasnt been easy to add into my health regiman I feel as if reaching my goals are a daily battle.Some days I feel positive others I feel lazy and just want to give up.I wish you the best keep it up I know you can do it.https://bit.ly/2BELERM

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  10. I am SO glad you're back! I have missed reading your posts.

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    1. I really appreciate that. Thanks for reading!

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  11. Hi! I discovered your blog only recently and have been reading through the archives. Checked back every now and then to see if you were going to start blogging again but it looked like you might have retired the blog so was so happy to see new posts when I checked back again today! I've loved reading about your journey and your will to never give up, it's really inspiring. Hope you stay excited and positive!

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    1. Hi Jane, thanks so much for reading and continuing to check back! I'm going to try to post much more regularly now, so stay tuned! How did you find me?

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    2. I was googling weight loss blogs for motivation and inspiration and came across Healthline's "Best Weight Loss Blogs of 2018" article. You should update the badge on the side of your blog to include the 2018 shout out too! Don't worry, just continue blogging whenever you feel like it and I'll keep checking back every now and then. The best thing about your blog is how honest and real you are about everything.

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  12. I'm starting over too - Tuesday I go back to working in an office after 18 months of working from home. Working from home turned into going out for breakfast/lunch nearly every day - my budget and the scale are both out of control!

    I have chicken in the fridge and salad fixings to take for lunches. Tonight I will make my baked egg cups for breakfasts and I'm putting a beef roast in the crockpot, along with onions, daikon, carrots and a few potatoes for dinners for the week. I'm one who cooks once a week and eats leftovers - so I definitely need to get back in the habit of doing my prep work on the weekends.

    Starting fresh - good luck to both of us!

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    1. Hey spiff, how is it going? Adjusting to a new work schedule is really tough, as I discovered myself after just a couple months of being unemployed. Prep is definitely king, though I still haven't been great about it yet. When I am prepared, though, everything is so easy.

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    2. So far, pretty good. I took my breakfast and lunch to work with me this week, and had dinners at home (hooray for prep and just reheating up food in the fridge). I know that for me, when it's 6pm and I'm stuck in traffic and hungry - it's FAR too easy to just give in and say "well I'll hit up the drive thru" - but if I know that when I get home, my dinner is easy and just as quick - it's harder to justify abandoning the plan :)

      I'm following the South Beach diet plan - I've done it a couple of times, and as long as I stay on plan, I lose weight. I don't count calories - I just have to stick with the allowed foods - of which there are plenty.

      The hardest part is ALL THE COOKING :) Eventually I get burned out and lazy and fall off the plan. But, given that I'm back in the office for 8 hours a day - and my office is NOWHERE near convenient to go out for lunch - I will be forced to bring my breakfast and lunches - and will have 2/3rds of my meals covered :)

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  13. wow, your journey is amazing. I love how committed you are in losing weight. I just recently found out about this losing weight product and I heard it helps a lot of people to lose weight https://bit.ly/2QeEQxl

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  14. i know the pain girl i was there and it was so hurtful that i couldent stop and then found this weird tea and it super helpd me and others it realy helping people try it girls https://bit.ly/2NcWiEC

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  15. Just came across your blog and i love it! You are real...like me! You do good and lose...then off track and gain...real life! ..i'm trying to get back to losing myself since most of my pants don't fit! Thanks for posting...i love reading it...it helps to know there are others like me.
    Do you have a facebook page you wrtie ..in too?

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