Thursday, April 2, 2009

Life imitating Art

Well, here it is Thursday already and I haven't stopped in since Monday! This week really zipped by. Things are happening, is why. In my "other" life, that is, my non-losing-weight-and-blogging-about-it life, I am an artist. Sure, I have a day job as a graphic designer, but I strongly identify as an artist. In fact, I can even say to someone seriously, "I am an artist" and not feel funny about it anymore.

I've been an artist all my life, but it really has only been since I started grad school in 2005 that I really took myself seriously; that was mainly because I made the conscious decision to give my art a chance. To give the artist in me a chance to exist and prosper. And since then, because I have been making the effort, I'm having some success. I just found out yesterday that I've been awarded another solo exhibition in the coming year or two (the gallery hasn't worked out its schedule yet). To think that five years ago, one of my life goals was to have a solo exhibition at all, just one! because it seemed like such an insurmountable goal at the time is incredible: I've got one up now, and I have two lined up for the future. In a matter of months!

As I am writing this I realize I could totally compare that experience with my experience here, as the person you have come to know. I guess I feel the same way about ever becoming not fat now as I did about ever having a solo exhibition five years ago. Which means, I can TOTALLY do this if I give myself a chance, make an effort, keep trying. How many rejection letters does an artist get in her lifetime? How many times do I mess up with my eating and have to start over? It's all the same, really. But you don't see me giving up on my art just over some pitfalls here and there. That perseverance has been rewarded, just in the same way that if I stick with my health and weight loss efforts, I will get results.

Anyway, I've just been a tad busy, if only in my head, distracted. I have been eating pretty well this week, though. I find myself going to bed hungry every evening, which is kind of a nice feeling. I have breakfast, I have lunch, I have dinner. Sometimes I track the food, but mostly I haven't been. I've been trying to listen to my body, mostly, and go accordingly.

I'm not losing weight like crazy. This morning I weighed in at 327 even, but being able to maintain is fine with me for now. I know that I am headed in the right direction. Yesterday, I went out for my first run since November or December. I just went a mile, and I walked about half of it, but I did it and it felt amazing. I was high on endorphins all day, it was great! I have definitely lost some fitness, in the past few months, but I haven't lost all. It's heartening.

The other day I was browsing around the Internet and came across this blog, which made me consider eliminating sugar from my diet and even the whole raw food lifestyle. I like hearing how people have a TON of energy and lose weight like crazy. Such a restricted diet sounds interesting to me, would make things so much simpler. But, there I was the next morning, unwilling to leave the sugar off my bowl of Rice Krispies. And so it goes.

I'm still thinking about it, though. I may try something new for even just a few days and see how it goes. Variety is the spice of life after all, yes?


  1. My dad ate raw for nearly a year when he was trying to control his blood pressure through diet (he is slim; the bp is just genetic, it turns out) and he loved it, but the downside for him was that it took a lot more intensive management to avoid low blood sugar. Sometimes he would eat raw all week and then come home and eat a big bloody steak, ha! I just mean to say, keep an eye out and it's not for everyone.

    The no-sugar thing, though, is so miraculous. I'm sure I've blathered about it to you before, too. I would go through cycles where I craved after-dinner sweets like crazy, couldn't finish a meal without chocolate or ice cream, preferably both. I tried no sugar for a week just to test it out and it changed my brain so fast I couldn't believe it. It's a weirdly chemical feeling, like all of a sudden the sugar fog lifts and cake/candy/whatever just looks different all of a sudden. Anyway, I do hope you get a chance to try it. It takes some work, especially if sugar is ingrained into your diet (cereal, coffee, etc) but it's not impossible. I recommend starting an experiment at the grocery store, so you can shop for the week ahead and really plan your meals in advance.

  2. I think you've hit on something important here. (Or maybe it's just me.*G*) So many times I would try something new and discover it wasn't for me, so I would go back to my old way of eating. I'm not sure how I got to thinking that there was only that One True Way to Success. (I'm otherwise quite bright, you know.) If you try the raw food thing and it doesn't work, you try something else. (Which you've already figured out.) Meanwhile, you're moving in the right direction, always forward. Unless you just count the scale, which I don't. :)

  3. The sentence that caught my attention was this one: "How many times do I mess up with my eating and have to start over?"

    Instead of thinking of it as Starting Over every time we goof up or go off of some plan (that wasn't working for us anyway), maybe we should think of it as Continuing On or Adjusting Course ... or something along those lines. After all, we don't really start over, we just keep going. We fall down/fall off/fall back and then, we get up, brush the dirt off our butts, assess what we've learned about ourselves and keep going.

    And of course we keep going, because there's no way, really, that we can NOT keep going. I mean, seriously, what are we going to do -- NOT change?? *grin*