That's what I have with food and eating: an obsession.
It's sad to admit, but I probably look forward to eating more than most other things in life right now. I don't know why.
I almost always indulge my cravings. I'm doing all sorts of things I don't know why I am doing. Then, I curse myself as I struggle to get up from the couch, or to TCB in the bathroom.
I don't know what I am doing. One thing I do know is that I will take a walk this evening. That is my promise to you, even if it just for 10 minutes. I'm confident I'll be able to do much more, but at this point I guess you never know.
I've been going through alternating wearing two pairs of pants, they're all I have that fit right now. One pair is some jeans that I thought I retired from public use last summer, when they were my official gardening and getting dirty pants. I've also used them to paint in and it shows. And I'm wearing these to work, for shame -- hoping no one will notice. That I am invisible from the waist down somehow.
Something's got to give. I see that, so do you.