Friday, August 28, 2015

Still Struggling

Since I last wrote on Monday, it's been a roller coaster week. There have been a couple pretty darned good days, and a few not-so-good ones. I'm trying to keep focusing on the positive so that I can continue moving forward and not get hung up on mistakes. At the same time, it's good to learn from mistakes, so I'm not totally discounting them, either; I just want to be kind to myself and stay on track as much as I am able at any given moment. #wycwyc (what you can when you can) definitely applies here.

For as much success I had in July, August started out with high hopes to continue that. It ended up turning out the complete opposite – it will undoubtedly be the first month since I started back last May that I'll have shown a gain from the last one. On one hand, that makes me really sad, really mad, really disappointed, but on the other, it's a stark reality check that really snaps me to attention about how diligent I must be at this effort in order to keep it going in the direction I want it to. It's way too easy to fall into those old bad habits and the weight can come back on way too quickly. It's pretty scary, if you want to know the truth.

Despite all this I am more determined than ever to finish what I started, even if I am still struggling as I write this – and there is no if about it, I am struggling! I'm trying to stay on track with eating as best as I can with each choice I make, whether it is about quality of food or quantity, but I think what is going to get me through this rough patch is keeping up with physical activity. I have developed into someone who really likes doing stuff – running, hiking, bicycling, tennis, yoga – and this motivates me to do better in most other aspects of my life as well. Not to mention, those extra calories burned helps a little when I haven't been quite so great on the eating part.

To recap this week along those lines, here's what happened.

Sunday: Ran 2 miles

Tuesday: Ran 3.4 miles with NoBo

Wednesday: Walked a brisk 3.6 miles on my lunch break

planned for Saturday: Running 3-4 miles with NoBo in the morning, plus an hour of lakeside yoga on lunch break (making up some hours at work)

It's not as much as I have been doing the past few months, but again, considered all that's been going on, I am pretty happy that I managed what I did. Tennis has been on hold because my partner hasn't been feeling well – he's got a nasty pinched nerve, and because my schedule hasn't been cooperating. We have plans to play on Sunday, and hopefully become regular again until the snow falls.

I've also been taking it a little bit easier since my walk on Wednesday because I made the mistake of not wearing adequate footwear – I had on an old pair of Converse lo-tops with little support and no padding of any kind. I thought I would be OK and I was wearing my fabulous Balega Hidden Comfort socks, but I was wrong: I got big blisters on the balls of both feet, and I exacerbated an already twingey left leg and knee. Hey, otherwise it was great and I probably could have kept going had I the time and proper footwear! My pace was in the 17's which is about what I used to run not so long ago.

But I've been paying the price. Today I've got some comfy running shoes on and things are starting to feel better, which is good because I want to be able to run as far as I can in an hour for our group workout tomorrow morning (7am! On a Saturday! Help!), and I just want to be in good shape to getting back to my usual 5-6 exercise sessions a week. I miss it! Sometimes, though, we have to take it a little easy and give our bodies a rest.

Other positive things:

• Being handed down a big bag of lovely clothes from my friend Jewel, and fitting into size 20 skinny jeans and a 1X knit skirt (actually a little big on me, but wearable!) among many other delights

• Being able to sit in one (actually, more than one!) of those old style aluminum woven lawn chairs and not breaking it!

• Running over three miles and feeling super strong and capable

• Continued joy over simple things like being able to bend over easily to tie my sneakers and fitting into booths at restaurants

• The realization that having good health and fitness equals FREEDOM, which is way more important than a number on a scale

Oh! And then there is this little interview I did for the awesome Our Freaking Budget blog. It's maybe a little embarrassing to admit so many shortcomings in being an adult, but I think I was trying to get more accountability and motivation to finally fix that issue, much like I have with my body stuff. I answered the questions back in May, and unfortunately not much has changed, but I still hold out hope for myself, as I do in all things. It is pretty amazing how many parallels there are between personal finance and weight.

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