Heading into Day 4 of my current diet phase and things have been going great! I was up to 314 and change (and probably a little more since I didn't weigh on Wednesday after eating crap on Tuesday – I just didn't want to know), and today I am back down to 308, which is awesome. Just another few pounds and I'm into uncharted territory and starting to make progress again. I feel great.
The eating has been pretty easy this time around. I was prescribed about the same amounts of food again, which works for me, along with my "adjustments". I do have a teaspoon or two of high-quality olive oil just about every day, and I do have a spoonful or two of peanut butter most days. Seems to work out OK, and it makes things SO much easier for me. I'm obviously still getting great results. Hm, I actually added on one more little item to that list, since my new favorite salad is field greens with strawberries, balsamic vinegar, and... goat cheese! Just a little bit of the crumbles goes a long way, and adds a delicious, savory-sweet creamy taste to the salad that really turns it into something VERY special. I guess my thinking is that as long as it's something that is mostly protein, I'm OK. And I don't go crazy with these additions – just enough to make me feel like I'm not deprived.
Of course, I'd say that the main key about not feeling deprived is to eat quality food, even if it is "just" lean meats, veggies, and fruits. (Imagine! Just!) I mean, yeah, if you're living on overcooked chicken breast and iceberg lettuce and a not-very-flavorful variety of apple, then yes, you're going to start feeling pretty desperate. My approach from the very beginning has been to eat delicious food, even if it is a small amount. More bang for your buck, literally and figuratively.
Yesterday was a good lesson in how to handle going out to eat with a friend. Jan and I did lunch at a local Italian place. I resolved to stick to the program as much as I could, but with a bit of leeway. My plan was then to just have a salad and fruit later on. I ended up having a broccoli parmesan, which did have some light breading and a sprinkle of mozzarella cheese – nothing too bad, though. I had a small side salad with a balsamic vinaigrette, and while the meal came with a side of pasta, I had just a few nibbles of the gnocchi I ordered and then let Jan take the rest home. I also had a dinner roll with butter. I drank water and diet Pepsi.
I was full! The food was good, but honestly I enjoy my own cooking better. The best part of the meal was really time spent with my friend and our great conversation.
I didn't really eat for the rest of the day – didn't feel like it – until later on after a late afternoon-early evening nap (we have a weird schedule). I stayed true to my intentions and had the aforementioned spring greens salad and an apple with peanut butter for dessert. It was more than satisfying and I felt like I was really in tune with my body's needs as opposed to dealing with unreasonable cravings.
Another friend of mine recently gifted me Geneen Roth's book Women, Food, and God after we'd had a conversation that led to sharing with each other a little bit about the history of our respective eating disorders. She's reading it, too, and I think it will be a lovely thing to be able to have someone to bounce this stuff off of when we're done. I just started reading the other night and it's already interesting and certainly relevant to my own experience. I can't wait to see what sorts of revelations I might have as a result. Assuming I do, of course.
Just something about the past two weeks has led me to a feeling of happiness and content in the various aspects of my life. I know that those feelings will have a positive impact on my efforts here, too. It helps to feel good about yourself; it may be the key to success!