Saturday, April 2, 2011

Feeling Fine

I'm just feeling awesome this week. Things have been going well and I feel confident in many ways.

And... I am well on my way to 305. I've held steady at 306.6 today and yesterday. I have three more weigh-ins before starting maintenance, so we'll see where I land!

The other night I went through my closet, my drawers, and the big piles of clean laundry I've been neglecting for god knows how long. I wanted to get an inventory of the things I have and still want to wear, and the things that I should say sayonara to, whether via the trash or Salvation Army. I made the decision to get rid of any piece of clothing that I've outgrown (that is, stuff that is too big for me), which is something that I haven't ever done as long as I can remember. I've held on to clothes that are too small because I had hopes of wearing them one day, but never the opposite. I wonder if that has been part of my problem, having this sort of "insurance" around. It's like I'm giving myself permission to get big enough to wear that stuff again.

This time, it won't be an option. I absolutely feel dedicated to keeping myself in check — to nip any gain whatsoever in the bud. I feel that this program I am on is helping me to learn to do that. Steak Day might be unconventional and weird, but I tell you what: it's an effective way to get yourself right back on track while you're maintaining.

I tried on every pair of pants I own. I happily discovered that I am firmly in size 24 territory and headed into 22s in the next 10–15 pounds or so. When I started, I owned a couple pairs of 28s depending on the brand, and those were in danger of getting too tight! This is progress. Fortunately, I have several pairs of jeans and corduroys to wear now, and even a pair of dress pants that fits perfectly. Waiting for me in the 22s is a whole pants wardrobe — these were left over from the time I lost 60 pounds about eight years ago and got down to just over 250. Yep, my starting weight back then was 310 pounds and I never thought back then that I'd be even more than that one day. I don't know if my body has changed shape, or I wear my pants differently now, but I think I'll be wearing those same pants I wore at 250 when I get down to 290. What's up with that?

I even have a couple pairs of 20s that I bought in anticipation of being that size. It won't be wishful thinking this time. I'm fully looking forward to wearing them for real later this year! Definitely to England, anyway. :)

It's such a wonderful thing to anticipate so much positivity in my life. I had a delightful lunch with a former co-worker yesterday who is on a similar journey in life (not the weight loss so much as relationship with food, among some other professional goals), and she said the coolest thing. "It's great that you're aiming to fit into an airplane seat, not to fit into a swimsuit." Jennifer, I agree wholeheartedly. I couldn't have said it better!

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