Tuesday, July 12, 2016

Challenge Results/Tuscarora 10K Race Report/I HATE THIS!

Warning: This is an extra long post! I've broken it up into sections for your reading convenience.

Challenge Results

OK, I know how y'all have been dying to hear about how my latest weight loss challenge has gone. Today marks the week's end! To refresh your memory, I was at 281 and change when I started and I was hoping to make it to 275 or lower by the end of the week.

Har har. So what ended up happening? I weighed in at 287+ instead. Yep, instead of losing six pounds, I gained six pounds.

Don't ask me. I have no idea. It's truly mind boggling to me.

To recap: It's true that on Saturday evening, we decided to get drunk, and so that happened. As a result I also ended up eating more than I should have because I get really snacky when I drink. That was no good. The next day I had a hangover and didn't eat super badly but nothing great, either. I didn't log, so I don't even remember what I ate. Yesterday I still felt like crap but it wasn't being hungover still – I was just feeling down, achey, and super tired, and I ended up taking a sick day from work. I weighed in at around 284 (darn). Later, I went to my friends' house for dinner (thanks, Megan and Nathan!) which was really nice and nothing too crazy (amazing butternut squash risotto and a charcuterie and cheese plate with white wine) and by the time I got home and headed to bed my back started hurting a lot. I woke up this morning feeling even worse (the Aleve I took last night had zero effect), but I intended to go to work. I took care of the garden – needs watering every day in the heat and drought we've been having (ouch! ouch! ouch!), weighed in (ACK!!! WTF???) and got dressed, even had my shoes on and my lunch packed away in my bag! But I realized that the pain was bringing me to tears at that point, and I was like, oh man, I'm staying home. So I did.

I slept a good part of the day and still didn't feel much better. In fact, my partner and I kind of wondered if we'd both had light food poisoning from the Pizza Hut we'd gotten on Sunday night (ugh, I know. It was actually the worst Pizza Hut I'd ever had!) because of how bad we both felt. Then, later on, C. asked if I wanted to go for a walk and see if that would make me feel better.

I didn't really want to, but I also knew that there was no way that I could run the mile I wanted to in order to keep my 30-day streak going, so I said yes and off we went to a nice trail up in nearby Lewiston that runs right along the Robert Moses Parkway headed up to Fort Niagara. It was super hot today (90 degrees!), but the trail was mostly in a shady wooded area, and for just the mile we went it was totally doable. I won't lie and say it made me feel better, because the pain running from the side of my back down my right leg really hurt, but it was nice to get out and it was nice to continue my streak, even if it was with a walk instead of a run. I got my mile in!

(Aside from that, dear friends, I have been running at least one mile every single day so far. Today was day 8 of 30.)

Tuscarora 10K Race Report

Well, I'll just get this out of the way right away – this was my first DNF (Did Not Finish).

The 10K turned 5K+.

But, it's OK. If you've been reading recently, you know that I'd been feeling a bit trepidatious about doing another 10K now because I really haven't been training for it. Perhaps I should have followed my gut on this and just done their 2.5 mile option, but I just really wanted to allow myself the challenge.

The race took place on the Tuscarora Reservation during the tribe's Field Days. It's just a few minutes away from my house, but I'd never been to the race location before and I got a little lost because of a lack of street signs on the Rez. I managed to get there, park, and get my bib and t-shirt in just enough time to say hello to my friends Emily and Valerie, and catching up with a guy I'd seen and talked to at the Gay 5K, David, who is kind of famous for running bare-chested, revealing his whole torso and arms covered in tattoos! I went up to say hi and he remembered me and got a selfie of us to mark the occasion. He runs ALL the time and is a total inspiration – and it turns out that he lives just a few blocks away from me! So I am glad to have made a new friend.

Valerie, Emily, and I before the start of the race!
Me and my new friend, David! He is a superstar.
The race started and from the beginning I didn't feel great about it. In fact, I passed a couple roadside spectators, exclaiming, "Big mistake!" In some ways, I just wanted to get my running mile done for my 30-day challenge, so I knew I at least had to do that. By the time I got to the mile mark, I felt a little better and passed by another spectator, an elderly man who said some lovely things like about how I was extending my life by years and bringing myself happiness. Wow! What a motivator, right? I gave him a thumbs up and wished him all the happiness, too – wishing that I could stop and talk to him more. But I continued.

As is often the case, I was the last runner for the 10K race. I saw two women ahead of me who were mostly walking but occasionally sprinting a little bit; I didn't really expect to catch up with them, but little by little, I did, and soon I passed them by. Shortly after I did that, they sprinted again to pass me. It turns out that they were mother and daughter and we ended up spending a little time together. The mother's goal had been to stay at a 15 minute mile, which is about what I was running. 

It was nice to have companions during the race, but looking back, I feel like it was detrimental to my performance in the end. We hit two miles and I had run the whole time except for a water stop, and once I got to that point, I walked. Part of it was because they were mostly walking and I didn't want to seem... like I was competing with them or trying to beat them, I guess. I'm not really sure. Maybe it was just an excuse. Whatever it was, once I started walking, I couldn't bring myself to run again and by that point I'd hit just over the 5K mark and I decided to end the race for myself. 

Ugh. I go over that moment in my head over and over and wish that I hadn't done that. 

At least I got to ride in an ambulance for the first time, which was cool! (No, I wasn't injured – it's just that the ambulance was the safety vehicle following the last racers.)

It's funny, because I told myself for this race that I wasn't going to talk to anyone while I was running because I wanted to stay focused and I wanted to do the best I could for myself. Could I have done it, finished? I really think I could have and I really think I should have. 

I suppose that I made the best decision for myself at the time and there's no second-guessing at this point. I will remember the feeling of a DNF and make sure to always give myself the gift of finishing every race I start, even if I have to walk. 

All that said, I really liked the race, the atmosphere, the people, the course – even if it was riddled with a lot of roadkill! – and I will sign up again next year for sure. Time will tell if I try the 10K again or if I just do the 2.5 mile instead. See? If I had done the 2.5 miler I'd have been all set with a finish...


Yeah, well... the last few days have done a number on me. After having such a great week full of activity and sticking to a good eating plan up until Saturday, it's sad to have nothing to show for it – even before the Saturday snafu I didn't lose any weight, and for no good reason. 

It's hard not to get discouraged. 

I realized that in the past few days of not feeling well and taking off from work, I was really dreading going back to the office. After some thinking and inquiring, I've decided to go ahead and take a WAH (work at home) tomorrow morning and off tomorrow afternoon, and off Thursday and Friday. I just really need a substantial break right now. I'm hoping this will allow me relief from stress and the ability to focus on home and self-care. 

In that light, I'm challenging myself now to get back to the right kind of eating and the activity level I was enjoying just less than a week ago. For now I won't set a specific weight but assured that I will not gain any more. I'm still keeping an eye on my Happy Scale chart and hoping that I can keep it in the green despite today's weigh-in – so that will be my main goal in the coming week. 

Stay in the green.

And if you've read this far, thank you so much for sticking with me. 

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